Kith and Kin
by jane0904
Summary: Following from Dead Man's Chest, the next story in the Mal/Freya 'verse.  A job offer isn't all it seems, and one of the crew finds they have serious health problems.  Now complete, but the arc to be continued in RIPPLES.
1. Chapter 1

Kaylee stepped out of the shower and began to towel off, humming happily. The new filtration unit (well, second hand, actually) was working well, and there was no sign of the faint chemical odour there had been from the recycling system. It also helped, of course, that the tanks were still fairly full, after their visits to Ezra and then on to Beylix and Whitefall.

The Cap had been right, for once – he hadn't gotten himself shot, but that was quite probably due to Patience being away on business, and her foreman had dealt with everything. Mind, when that same foreman had suggested they wait, since she was due back any time, Kaylee wasn't sure she'd ever seen the Cap move so fast. They were up and out of atmo 'fore anyone could even offer them a cup of tea. She smiled at the memory.

Sitting down on the drop down seat she tried to dry her feet. _Try_ being the operative word. Her bump had been getting bigger and bigger, and at just over seven months she was finding things increasingly difficult to reach. Finally getting between her toes, she sat back, letting her hands rest lightly on her son.

Her son. Just the thought that she was carrying a little baby boy made her heart zing. She knew Simon loved their girls to distraction, but a son … didn't every man want someone to carry on the name after him? All the other men on Serenity had 'em, from the Cap on down.

Her brow furrowed slightly. Had he felt left out, she wondered? Like he was missing something? 'Specially when Jayne … She shook her head. No. They were all so close it was like having a whole passel of boys anyway, and he'd got a lot of experience baby-sitting Ethan and Ben, especially before he worked out that Mal had rigged the rota.

Leaning back on the tiles, she chuckled as she remembered Simon's face. Still, it wouldn't be long before another little Tam was running around Serenity. Or at least crawling. Well, crying, crapping, puking and sleeping for the first few months.

And according to River, there was another Cobb on the way, too. Not Jayne's, least, not this time. But Matty's. River'd said Jayne had a good word to say to his brother about keeping secrets, especially after the talk they had back in the house, when Matty had more or less denied all knowledge. He swore he hadn't lied, though. Him and Jolene hadn't talked about having kids of their own. It just … sort of … happened.

Kaylee had to grin. She knew about that sort of happening. It's how she had Bethie. And not a one of the kids on Serenity had been planned. Hoped for, sure. And Mal was even now wearing himself thin in an attempt to get Freya in the family way again – at least, that's what he said. No sign yet, though. But Kaylee could see a day when there were so many children on board they wouldn't be able to move.

Maybe they'd have to buy another ship. For a moment the thought haunted her, then she pushed it away firmly. No, that'd never happen. The Cap would never let go of his Firefly, and neither would she let him. So maybe they'd find someplace on the ground somewhere, maybe near her folks, and take it in turns to live there. Some kind of rotation.

She giggled. Now she really was letting her fancy take her into some strange and unusual places. Standing up she sighed, then grimaced as her son did a lazy somersault inside her, kicking her in the kidneys on the way past.

"That's enough of that," she whispered. "I don't mind you moving around, but trampling on me ain't a Frye's way of doing things."

As if to say that he was a _Tam_, and she wasn't to forget it, he turned the other way and she saw the tiny imprint of a little foot as he kicked her belly. With a smile that seemed to light up the small bathroom, she touched the spot.

"Are you planning on being in there all day?" Zoe called from outside.

"No, no," Kaylee said, grabbing her clothes and struggling into them. "Just … I'm coming." The coveralls didn't meet across anymore, but her t-shirt just about covered her belly. Slipping into her sandals, she threw open the door to find Serenity's first mate leaning on the wall, her arms crossed, her lips twitching. "All yours."

Zoe pushed straight. "I don't need it. I was more checking that you were okay."

Kaylee relaxed slightly. "Oh, I'm fine. It's just … easier to take a shower now. Come time for bed, all I wanna do is fall under the covers and have Simon rub my feet."

"That bad, huh?"

"No. Not really. River's version of my Ma's potion worked a treat, and I ain't feeling sick no more. Just still needing to pee a lot, and that occasional heartburn …"

Zoe laughed. "I know exactly what you mean."

"I know I went through all this with Bethie, but that seems like it was so long ago."

"And would you give it all up?"

"What, and not have this little baby? No way." She cradled her belly.

"You just hold onto that thought." Zoe chuckled. "But if you were looking for something to do, Hank was asking if you were going to be able to fix the faucet in our bunk."

Kaylee's hand flew to her mouth. "I'd forgotten all about it. I'll get right on it."

"No rush. But he was saying it made him want to get up himself half a dozen times during the night, the amount of dripping it was doing."

"No, I shouldn't be shirking my responsibilities, just 'cause I'm pregnant."

"Is that what you were doing in there?"

"Pretty much."

"You know River says being pregnant causes most of your brain cells to shrivel up and die," Zoe pointed out.

"I think she's right. I ain't got two to rub together at the moment."

"Then I don't think you've got a choice. You'd better get busy reminding Freya and River how to do things. Maybe get one of 'em to help you today."

Kaylee sighed. "I know. And they did good last time, but … it's just … she's my girl, you know?"

Zoe understood. Serenity might physically belong to Mal, but if the amount of effort that went into keeping her running had anything to do with it … "It's all right. I doubt either of them is going to try and take your place."

"They couldn't, anyway," the young mechanic said, hugging her damp towel to her. "Bethie, on the other hand …"

The two women laughed, and Zoe said, "Yes, she does love it in the engine room."

Kaylee thought for a moment. "Maybe I'll talk to River. I mean, since Frey's got teaching duties 'n' all."

"That's true. Wouldn't want to interrupt all that educating."

"Ain't you got no work to do?" Mal asked, walking down the stairs from the upper level. His face was tired looking, almost lined.

"On my way now, Cap'n," Kaylee said brightly.

"Good. Can't be having my ship fall out of the sky just 'cause you two want to stand around jabbering at each other all day." He eased his back a little.

"Are you okay, sir?" Zoe asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just slept badly, is all." He looked at Kaylee. "And before you start work there's a wave for you."

"For me?"

"From 'Nara."

"But we're not in range of Lazarus …"

"According to Hank, the signal's piggybacking off one of those new relays the Alliance put up a few weeks back." He grimaced. "Filling my sky with junk." He must have realised how he sounded, because he managed to scare up a grin. "Go on, then. She's waiting."

"Here, give that to me," Zoe said, taking the towel.

Kaylee grinned and hurried up the stairs. "I'll deal with your faucet straight after," she promised as she rounded the corner.

"Are you sure you're okay, sir?" Zoe asked again, turning to her captain.

"Honestly, I'm fine. Just having two young'uns to keep up with makes me feel old, sometimes."

"Ah." Zoe followed Kaylee up towards the bridge.

"You're supposed to say I ain't old."

"Well, I would if you weren't walking like a man in his eighties."

"I ain't that bad!" he called after her.

"Actually, yes, you are." Simon leaned out of the infirmary. "And I've been telling you for days now to come and see me."

"It's nothing."

"You have no idea how much I love the people on board this ship thinking they know more about medicine than I do," Simon said, straight-faced.

"Well, truth is, your sister probably does." Mal lowered himself onto the old sofa, leaning back into its lumpy support.

"Okay, that one I'll grant you. But you don't."

"I told you, I'm fine. Just running round after Ethan and Jesse. And trying to get 'em another little brother or sister." He fixed Simon with a mischievous eye. "So, do you think that tea of yours'd work for me and Frey?"

"I'm not sure it worked for me and Kaylee," Simon pointed out.

"Your tests not shown you anything?" Mal was referring to the fact that the young doctor had decided to see if there was any medical reason for Ellie Frye's miracle cure to have actually allowed Kaylee to get pregnant.

"Not so far. At least, they're inconclusive." Simon gazed at him with that implacable stare of his. "And you're not changing the subject. I want to give you a full going over."

Mal had to smile. "Always knew you were sly really. Just can't keep your hands off me, can you?"

"Not if we found the Kugelman Hoard and you said I could have it all."

The smile grew at Simon's dry tone, joined now by a chuckle. "Doc, I'm shiny. Just slept bad, that's all."

"For at least a week."

Mal's eyebrows went up. "You keeping track?"

"Of course I am. Mal, I'm your doctor. And, better yet, I'm your friend. I know you."

"And Frey's been bending your ear."

"Yes."

Shaking his head in mock-disbelief, Mal said, "That wife of mine is going to hound me into an early grave." He closed his eyes.

"She's trying to keep you out of one." There was no response. "Mal?" He touched the other man's shoulder.

"What?" Mal looked up, jerking in his seat.

"Were you asleep?"

"I was just resting my eyes." At Simon's look he felt impelled to explain. "Doc, it's just … like I said, my back's been aching some, in the night. Stops me having a decent night's rest."

"So it isn't Freya making demands on you."

"Well, not only that." Mal stood up, ignoring the weariness that swept through his bones. "Simon, give it a few days. We need to get Badger out of the way first …" He paused, allowing the second meaning of what he'd just said to entertain him for a moment. "Then you can poke and prod me to your heart's content. Deal?"

"It's not like I have anything better to do. But then again, neither do you."

"Sure I do. I got captainy things to occupy my attention. We'll be on Persephone tomorrow and I need all my wits about me to deal with Badger so we don't get gypped. And maybe I've just eaten something that disagreed with me, you thought of that?"

"Since we've all been eating the same things, I doubt it. And that wouldn't account for the tiredness." Simon crossed his arms. "But all right. You have two days. After that, I'm getting Jayne to drag you into the infirmary so I can do a full physical on you. In the meantime …" He went to a drawer. "I want to take some blood." Turning back he had a large hypo in his hand.

Mal's brow puckered. "Needles?"

"I've drawn lots before." Simon tore open a swab packet.

"Ever thought that might be giving me a phobia?"

"Roll up your sleeve."

"And if I say no?"

"River's in her garden. Jayne's in the cargo bay. Or would you prefer I call Freya?"

"Fine, fine," Mal muttered, extending his arm and pulling up the fabric. "Call out the big guns, why don't you?" The cold slick of the swab was replaced by the prick of the needle, and he winced.

Simon watched the blood fill the hypo, waiting until the thick liquid reached the top. "Good." Using the swab, he covered the site and removed the needle. "Bend your arm and keep it like that for a minute or two."

"I know the drill, doc."

"Then you should be used to it." He put the blood-heavy hypo into a kidney bowl. "And if you get any worse, feel any other symptoms, don't wait. Come directly to me."

"You ordering me about on my own ship?"

"Yes."

Mal chuckled. "Okay. But I'm sure it'll be gone by then." He headed for the steps up to the cargo bay.

"And I'll be telling Freya exactly what we've agreed," Simon added to his departing back. "_Exactly_."

"That's right," Mal laughed over his shoulder. "Hit a man when he's down."

Simon waited until the captain was out of sight, then went to Eden's open door. River was on her knees, running encapsulated fertilizer around the base of the various stems.

"I'll keep an eye on him," she agreed, without looking up or her brother having to say a word. "But it might just be that he's tired."

"I know."

"And if it's physical I can't see it anyway." She sighed, her breath moving the leaves on one of the strawberry plants. "And Freya's closer."

"I just … after all that's been going on, all the stress he takes on himself …"

River smiled. "I'm sure he's happy to know you care."

"Don't you start."

"Do you think I could grow apples?" his sister asked, changing the subject with her head on one side as she contemplated her garden.

"River, I think you can do whatever you set your mind to," Simon said, seeing her face light in a wide grin before he headed back to his infirmary to start running the blood tests.

* * *

Jayne had finished his workout and was sitting on his bench, a cigar dribbling smoke clenched between his teeth, staring into nothing.

He was thinking back to that last day on Ezra, when he'd walked into Port Town to get some more smokes from Gilford's store. Jason had insisted on taking him through to the back, where he poured him a handsome glass of whisky and they'd sat down and talked for a spell.

"Good stuff." Jayne had been appreciative of the liquor.

"I buy a bottle every so often. Lasts me a while, since I don't take too much." Jason Gilford sat back in the seat and sipped his own drink.

Jayne looked around at the comfortable set-up he had. "You live here now?" he asked.

"Mostly," Jason admitted. "Since your Ma died, I … it's easier. And it means I ain't beholden to Matty to look after me."

"Sure he don't mind."

"No, he don't. But what with Jolene now … I ain't wanting to be a burden."

"They don't feel like that."

"Well, I ain't gonna hang around until they do." He lifted the glass. "To your Ma."

"To Ma."

They sat and talked for a few minutes, then Jason said, "I … you know I wanna be put in next to her, don't you?"

Jayne nodded. "Matty said something about it, yeah."

"Probably won't be that long now, either."

"There ain't nothing wrong with you, Jason," Jayne said firmly. "The doc checked you over, didn't he?"

"Yeah. But even he can't keep old age from creeping up on me." Jason ran a hand over his bald head. "And without your Ma to keep me going, I don't know how much longer I've got."

Jayne sat forward in his chair, his bulk seeming to fill the room even more. "I ain't gonna say this more'n once, 'cause I don't think I need to. You ain't to go around saying things like that, and certainly not to Matty. You're …" He paused, wondering if this was the right thing to say, but deciding to say it anyway. "You're more of a Pa to him than our real one. You've been there for him longer. And now he's gone and got himself hitched, and with a baby on the way … he'll need you even more."

Jason's forehead screwed up in confusion. "Baby?"

Oh, _gos se_. "Yeah, well, that's something you need to talk to him about. But even if I wanted to, I ain't gonna be around to back him up all that often. Got my own life to live, and that's away from Ezra. He needs you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. You … you made Ma's life bearable when she needed it. And she …" He swallowed the rest of the whisky in his glass and blamed that on the need to blink hard. "She loved you. Married you. She wouldn't'a done that with just anyone. And when the day comes, and it's gonna be a long way off, I'll be there with Matty to put you in next to her."

The look on Jason's face said it all. "You mean that."

"Don't say things I don't mean. 'Less I'm lying, and I ain't."

The old man sighed in contentment. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. Should be thanking you myself, for looking after Ma and Matty."

"Thanks anyway."

They shared another whisky each, then Jayne announced he had to leave. Picking up his cigars, he turned to Jason. "You … keep yourself well, _dong mah_?"

"I will, son."

They'd shaken hands, and Jayne had walked out into the sunshine heading for the cemetery to see his parents …

"Penny for 'em," Mal said as he crossed the bay floor.

Jayne took a deep breath, drawing the cigar smoke into his lungs. "Ain't worth a turd, let alone a penny." He looked up at his captain. "Wouldn't wanna gyp you."

"No, and I'm glad of that. I've too many premonitions of Badger doing exactly that to be looking for it from someone else."

"Why're we dealing with that weasel, Mal?" Jayne asked, grinding out his cigar on the deck before standing up. "I'd rather see him lying in a pool of his own blood."

"Yeah, well, me too, but we need the money."

"That much?"

Mal perched on a crate. "What we did on Hera, at the Abbey, I think maybe it's had some … ramifications."

"You mean like the Alliance trying to tie everything down that much tighter?" He picked up his towel from the end of the bench.

Mal was surprised. Normally the big man didn't bother with what was going on in the wider 'verse, just how it would affect him and his little family. But maybe this did. "Yeah. Like those relays they've put in, and there's talk of them pushing more cruisers off the production line."

"Well, you sent out that AntiPax formula, gave it to everyone as could brew up a cold. Maybe they were relying on those Pax guns to keep the peace, and you've well and truly scuppered them."

Mal had to smile. "Reckon we did at that." The smile faded. "But it seems there's less work than ever on the horizon, so we need to get as much savings in as possible, weather out the storm."

"Then maybe we oughtta've kept those coins, sold 'em ourselves."

"No." Mal shook his head. "They're better off helping Matty and his family." He stood up and headed towards the stairs. "We'll make do. We always have."

Jayne watched him walk slowly up the metal steps, and wondered when Mal had turned into an old man.

* * *

"He's not totally reformed, then." Inara smiled at Kaylee over the Cortex link, the picture grainy but passable.

"Jayne? Nah. I think it was the idea of all that gold made him revert."

"Is River dealing with him?"

"From the sounds coming from their shuttle the last few nights, yeah, I think so." Kaylee giggled.

"And how come you were listening?" the ex-Companion wanted to know.

"Well, I been up every night this week so far." Kaylee patted her belly. "This little one's been fractious, moving about a lot. Stepping on my bladder too, from the feel."

"Still peeing a lot?"

"Yeah. Cap says if I don't stop he's gonna make me do the septic vat next time we hit land."

"Tell him if he does that he'll have me to answer to."

The grin widened on Kaylee's open face. "I will. Thanks, 'Nara."

"Any particular reason my godson is very active?"

Kaylee shrugged. "He's a boy. What more do you want?"

"True. Even Sam can't seem to sleep without getting the covers all wrapped around his legs."

"Really?" Anticipation of some juicy tales lit her eyes.

Inara smiled. "And I still don't kiss and tell."

"Oh, come on! Who'd know?"

"You would. And it's not like I ask you about your love life."

"Yeah, but I tell you anyway."

They laughed, best friends separated by a few million miles.

"So, are you sure Mal won't set you down on Lazarus for a while? I would like to see everyone."

"I tried, but he says we need this job."

"Yes, but dealing with Badger … that never goes well."

"Badger's just the go-between in this one. He's made the arrangements for a third party, at least according to Mal, then we get on with the job."

"Is it … dare I ask … legal?"

"Of course!" Kaylee winked theatrically.

Inara groaned slightly. "That man will end up getting you all in jail."

"The Cap's got a plan."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"'Sides, he ain't exactly himself at the moment."

Inara looked surprised. "So who is he?"

"Just … not the Cap."

"Is Simon looking into it?"

"I think so."

"Good. And let me know if it's anything to worry about."

"Oh, I think we'll all be doing that if it is."

* * *

As Mal sat down to dinner that night, he could barely keep his eyes open. Maybe he'd been pushing things too hard. After all, the last few months had been hectic, what with Becca Morgan, then Niska, and all the business on Hera … Kaylee had been pushing for them to all have a little downtime, and he thought that was what they got on Ezra, but maybe he was wrong. Perhaps they should go to Lazarus when they'd done with Badger, or even Phoros. Kaylee was saying she wanted her baby born in the bosom of her family, and maybe -

"Mal?"

He looked up to see Simon standing over him. "What?"

"Falling asleep again?"

"Thinking."

"Right." The young doctor held up a hypogun.

"What's that?" Freya asked, sitting down next to her husband.

"I finished my preliminary blood tests. He has a low grade infection."

Her eyebrows raised. "Infection? What from?"

"At the moment I don't have any idea," Simon admitted. "But this is a broad spectrum antibiotic, and it should make him feel a lot better."

"I don't feel ill," Mal pointed out.

"Probably because this has crept up on you." He held the hypo against Mal's neck and pressed the trigger. There was the hiss of gas.

"Do we need to worry about it, Simon?" Zoe asked, glancing at her son and the other children.

"No. It's not infectious that I can tell."

"So you don't know what it is yet."

"No. But all the indications are … you don't need to worry."

Zoe didn't look particularly mollified.

"How long?" Mal asked.

"Until you feel better? Well, you should be feeling the effects by tomorrow morning, but it's going to take a day or two to get to its full efficacy."

"You trying to confuse me with long words?"

"No, I -"

"It's okay, doc," Mal said, rubbing absently at his neck. "And thanks."

"You're welcome."

He watched Kaylee dishing up, and his stomach rolled slightly. "You know, I think I'm gonna have an early night."

Freya's brown eyes clouded with concern. "Are you all right?"

"Just tired." He smiled at her.

"Then an early night wouldn't hurt me, either."

"If you think you're going to have your wicked way with me, I don't think I've got the energy."

"Doc, I think Mal's dying," Hank joked. "Has to be. Turning down sex like this."

"I think you're right," Kaylee agreed. "It has to be bad."

"Never known him say no," Jayne put in.

"And I'm in a parallel universe where I have a bunch of comedians instead of a crew," Mal said, pushing back his chair. He shook his head, then looked at Freya. "And don't you go missing this good food. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

She put her hand on his. "I'll put Ethan and Jesse in with the other children, give you a chance to nod off before I come down." She didn't add that it would keep them out of harm's way, in case Simon was wrong about it being infectious. She didn't have to.

"You know that ain't really necessary."

Freya smiled. "Otherwise how am I going to keep my hands off you?"

"Control, woman. Control." He stood up. "Don't be too long," he said as he headed for the corridor.

"I won't."

Mal paused at the doorway and looked back at his pilot. "When do we hit atmo?"

"'Bout ten-thirty our time, two-fifteen theirs."

"Don't change our clocks. I ain't planning on doing much more'n seeing Badger and refueling."

"It's all in hand, don't you fret," Hank assured him.

"I always fret," Mal said, heading again for his bunk. "It's what I get paid to do." As he pushed the hatch open, a wave of dizziness swept across him and he had to hold tightly to the wall to avoid falling down the ladder. "Gorramit," he muttered to himself. "Must be more tired than I thought." As it passed he shook his head, then climbed carefully down.


	2. Chapter 2

Simon was right, Mal mused as Serenity dropped through the heavy cloud layers towards Persephone's Eavesdown Docks. A fairly good night's sleep, and a dose of antibiotics, and he was feeling fine. Well, not truly up to par, if he was honest, but better. And he'd need all his wits about him to deal with Badger. Something about that little man just made him want to shoot first and take a shower after.

"Looks like you're going to need your coat," Hank said unnecessarily as half-frozen rain lashed against the windows. "And waders."

"Better look out your own, since you're supervising the refuelling."

"Can't I do that from the warmth and comfort of the bridge?" Hank adjusted their trajectory slightly.

"No."

"Ah, well. Can't fault a man for trying." The clouds parted, but the rain didn't stop. "Down in two."

Mal merely nodded and headed for the cargo bay.

Not taking his eyes off the console, Hank wondered vaguely if Mal knew he was rubbing his arm like that. Probably. He shrugged and went back to making sure it was a textbook landing.

* * *

As Mal stepped through onto the upper catwalk, he looked down into the bay. Zoe was checking the ammunition in her Mare's Leg, while Jayne lounged on his weights bench, doing idle arm curls with one of the dumbbells. What made his eyebrows lift, though, was Freya standing by the closed doors.

"_Ai ren_?" He started down the stairs.

She smiled up at him. "I've got your coat here." She held up her arm, brown leather draped over it, already securely buttoned into her own.

"Are you coming?"

"Unless you've got a problem with that."

He reached the floor. "Haven't you got lessons?"

"Day off. And the kids were _so_ disappointed."

His lips twitched at the sarcasm as he joined her, taking his coat and slipping it on. "You can make it up to them."

"Then I'm allowed to join you?"

"Sure. Only I thought you didn't like Badger."

"I don't. But since you're still not feeling at your best I thought –"

"I'm fine, Frey."

"So that wasn't you thrashing about last night gasping like you'd run a dozen miles in full kit."

There was silence for a moment, with both Jayne and Zoe waiting for the answer.

"I did?"

"You don't remember?"

Mal shrugged. "Honestly, no. I must've been dreaming."

"Any idea what about?"

"Not a one."

She didn't push. There wasn't a single person on board Serenity who didn't have bad dreams sometimes. In point of fact it was surprising they didn't have nightmares all the time, considering what they'd been through over the years. And unless he asked, she wasn't going to peek either. "Anyway, I thought I'd come with you. See if Badger's trying to make life that little bit more interesting than it needs to be."

He smiled slightly. "Probably not a bad idea. And he does like you. Gave you that wedding gift." He was referring to the knife and jewelled thigh scabbard.

Freya didn't even try to hide the disgust. "Please. Don't remind me."

The Firefly trembled, then the engine note changed.

"_We've landed,"_ came Hank's voice over the com._ "And the weather is changeable, with the slight possibility of frostbite."_

Mal didn't say a word, just sighed and slammed his hand down on the control. The ramp lowered outside as he opened the small inner door and freezing air swirled into the bay.

"Gorramit." Jayne stood up quickly, pulling out the knitted hat his mother had made him from his pocket. "I thought Hank was joking." He tugged it onto his head.

"Apparently not." Mal peered out, noting that there seemed to be just the same number of people around, despite the weather. In fact, a number of them appeared to _be_ the same he'd seen last time, but that wasn't totally impossible. Too many folks got to Eavesdown and couldn't get any further, scraping an existence on the fringes of Persephone society. He led the way out, not waiting to see the others follow.

The cold rain had mixed with the usual dust and crud of the docks, turning the ground into a quagmire, making walking difficult the further they progressed.

"_Cao_," Jayne muttered, feeling mud – well, hopefully it was mud – clogging up around his boots, and no matter how much he shook them, it wouldn't let go.

"Ignore it," Mal advised, tramping ahead through the crowds. A waft of cooking caught at his nostrils, and he glanced towards one of the hot food stalls, still selling despite the weather, the only concession a tarpaulin pulled overhead to keep the fire from going out. His stomach protested at the smell, and he realised he hadn't eaten in something like twenty hours. He turned away from the dubious meat with a wince. "At least it's keeping the Alliance out of our hair."

Jayne nodded. He hadn't seen a single purple-belly since they landed. "Probably more sensible than us," he groused. "Staying inside with the heat turned right up." He lifted his jacket higher around his neck, pulling his knitted hat lower on his brow as a Blue Sun poster sagged on the wall next to him.

"You know, for a big man, you sure feel the cold," Zoe commented.

"Got more body to feel it," he said, shuddering as a slip of cold water made its way inside. "And I hate the rutting rain."

"Well, just keep your eye on the job." Mal nodded towards the gap between two stacks of containers. "We're here." Squaring his shoulders and ignoring the steady ache in his arm, he strode forwards, barely nodding at the man standing guard.

* * *

Badger had a cold. Or maybe 'flu. Or with his luck it was pneumonia. Even the whores from Macey's had taken one look at him and refused to party, even when he offered them double. Still, he probably couldn't have performed up to his usual standards, not feeling like he did. Someone probably gave it to him, as well. And if he ever found out who … if he lived that long.

But whatever it was, he felt like shit, and he wasn't about to take any from the likes of Malcolm Reynolds. Still, seeing that he was accompanied by two women including his first mate, as well as his big hulking merc in something that resembled the top of an ice cream cone perched on his head, he had to smile. Especially since the other woman was Freya Reynolds.

"Nice to see ya," he said, not getting up but nodding at her. "You're lookin' good." He blew his nose then wiped it off with a large, overly used handkerchief.

"You look like you should be at home in bed," Freya commented, trying to breathe in as little as possible.

"Yeah, but that'd only be fun if I had someone to be there with me," he leered.

"Not even in your wildest dreams."

"Nah? 'Cos they're pretty wild." He looked her up and down, undressing her with his eyes.

Mal hitched his thumbs into his gunbelt as he felt Freya tense next to him. "Badger. Can we talk business, or are you just gonna carry on flirting with my wife?" He emphasised the last word.

The self-styled kingpin sniffed hard, turning his rheumy-eyed gaze on Mal. "No small talk? You feelin' okay?"

"Badger, I'm cold. I'm wet. And I'm armed."

That elicited something like a sneer. "And you could be dead, you threaten me in my own gaff."

Mal barely twitched. "Not threatening. Just doing business."

"Fine." He pulled out a scrap of paper from under the discoloured blotter. "Man I know needs some goods moved out to Priam. That's the moon –"

"Off Ithaca. Yeah, I know. And we just came from Whitefall."

"Then you'll be going back that way." Badger leaned back in his chair, taking off his derby and wiping around the inside of it with the same handkerchief.

Mal tried not to grimace as the little man then shoved it back into his pocket. "Legal?" he asked instead.

"Well, I doubt he wants it looked over by the Alliance, but there ain't anything specifically bad in it." Badger set the hat back on his balding pate, adjusting it minutely.

"But under the radar."

"He'd appreciate it."

"Just who is this 'he' we're talking about?"

Badger shook his head. "You don't need to know."

"Maybe I'm just curious."

"And you know what curiosity did to the cat."

"And I know what almost happened to me last time we took work from you." He was referring to Becca Morgan, who had taken it into her head to shoot him, point blank, and it was only through the grace of God, River, and wearing Hank's body armour that he wasn't six feet under.

"That wasn't my fault."

"Maybe not. But you can understand why I ain't that thrilled to be working for a man I don't know."

Badger got up and came around to the front of the desk, standing as close to Freya as he could get without her actually hitting him. "See, thing is, I don't trust ya. You'd be just as likely to go to him direct, cut me out of my share. And I wouldn't take kindly to that." He smiled at her, trying to see down her shirt.

Feeling slightly nauseous, Freya moved half a pace back, but Badger just grinned wider.

"Now why would I do that?" Mal asked, glaring at him.

"'Cause you don't like me." Badger pulled out his hankie again, and filled the small room with a sound that resembled a shuttle taking off. "And it's entirely mutual, so there's no need for any hard feelings. But I've spent time on this deal. You ain't gonna gyp me."

Mal smiled slightly. "All I'm asking for is his name."

Badger's forehead creased, as if he was thinking hard. Eventually he said, "Brant Fisher."

Mal turned his head enough to see both Jayne and Zoe shake theirs. They didn't know the name either. "Shiny." He dropped his hands away from his gun. "Where's the pick-up?"

* * *

"So?" Mal asked as they reached the comparative fresh air.

"He's telling the truth, in so far as it goes," Freya said, thrusting her hands deep into her pockets. "The job is legit, also as far as it goes."

"Stolen goods?"

"Badger wasn't sure. But probably best to deal with them that way."

"Prob'ly why the pick-up's outside of town," Jayne put in.

"And the rest?" Mal prompted. "You sounded like there was something else."

Freya stopped, the rain plastering her hair down to her head, but ignoring it. "I'm … not sure. This Brant Fisher is definitely the man he's been dealing with, but Badger's not sure he's the principle."

"There's someone else in the background?" Zoe asked, her hand resting on her gun butt.

"Possibly. As I said, this is just Badger's feelings, and I really didn't want to rummage around inside his brain for too long." She suppressed a shudder, almost entirely successfully. "Can I go and wash out my mind now?"

Mal smiled. "Soon as we get back to Serenity."

"Good."

"Sir, I'm not happy about this," Zoe said. "We've had bad dealings with Badger before, and if he doesn't trust this Fisher –"

"I don't know that we have a choice. We need the work, it's here and it pays well. Unless Dillon's got something we can haul?" He looked back at Freya.

She shook her head. "Sorry, no. He and Breed are on Londinium at the moment."

He raised an eyebrow. "And you know that … how?"

"I waved him when we knew we were coming." She raised her chin defiantly. "Anything wrong with that?"

"Might be, if I didn't know the man was sly."

She finally relaxed enough to smile at him. "I just wanted to pass the time of day. Make sure they were okay. But they left more than two weeks ago and won't be back for another month."

"Something good keeping them away, I hope."

"I think some of Dillon's holdings need massaging." She looked sharply at Jayne as he chuckled. "Or something like that. Callum wasn't there either, so I had to speak to someone else, and they weren't very forthcoming."

"Dillon won't like that. 'Specially when he finds out you've been slighted, _ai ren_." Mal smiled, but hunched his shoulders a little. "I suppose I could always give Sir Warwick a wave. See if he's got something."

"More cows, sir?" Zoe asked, her lips twitching.

"Hope not."

"Aw, come on," Jayne said, stomping a few paces forward before turning to glare at them. "I'm so wet I could wring out my underwear. If I was wearing any. Can we get going?"

"Jayne, you keep information like that to yourself, or you're walking to Ithaca." Mal shook his head. "But we'll try Sir Warwick when we get back."

* * *

Unfortunately they were out of luck there too. Sir Warwick Harrow was out of town on business, and wouldn't be back for a few days, at least his manservant was haughty enough to inform them before the vid turned to static.

"Okay," Mal said, sitting back in the pilot's seat. "I get it. I give in. Me and this job are meant to be."

Hank chuckled from where he stood behind. "We can always wait for him."

"Yeah, and then we find he ain't got nothing for us, and we've lost Badger's job too." Mal pursed his lips, breathing out noisily. "Can't see we've got a choice." He went to get to his feet, then grabbed for the back of the chair.

"Mal, you okay?" Hank had moved forward, taking the other man's arm, his grey eyes flaring with sympathy.

"I just … probably that infection." He managed to stand up, blinking away the dizziness. "And lack of food."

"Well, Kaylee went shopping while you were out, and she managed to get some stuff. Nothing too exciting, but maybe you should go make yourself a sandwich."

Mal was annoyed. "She shouldn't go out in her condition. Not on her own."

"Mal, the rest of us were kinda busy, and you don't want Simon or River wandering Persephone either." Hank spoke gently, as if afraid to ruffle the captain's feathers any more than he had to.

"That's not the point." Something in the pilot's demeanour had Mal's sixth sense prickling. "Only she didn't go alone, did she?"

"Well …"

"Hank."

"Maybe Simon went with her. He was so bundled up nobody was going to recognise him, and he said there were no Alliance about anyway," Hank said quickly. "And that was a hardship, anyway. You know much he hates the rain."

Mal's lips tightened. "And he could have ended up in custody. Gorramit, Persephone is as close to the Core as you can get without it actually being there!"

"I know that." Hank sighed heavily. "Mal, they were gone all of half an hour, and both of them had one of those beacons. They were fine."

For a moment it looked like Mal was going to argue, then he just nodded. "Fine. Get the shuttle ready."

"We're not taking Serenity?" Hank was surprised.

"Nope. Pick-up's been arranged for about four, local time, but I wanna get there early. We'll probably have to walk in a ways, but I don't want them to know Jayne's overlooking us."

"It'll be almost dark by that time."

"Then he can use a night-scope. Give him an advantage." He took a deep breath, the dizziness drifting away. "Frey's coming too, just in case."

"Not River?"

"Persephone, Hank. And I need someone to look after Serenity."

"I could do –"

"Forget it. You're flying, and then you can help load the stuff."

Hank looked aggrieved. "Mal, I just got dry!"

"_Bei zi_."

"I thought you didn't believe in luck."

"Only the bad kind." He half-smiled and handed him the slip of paper from Badger's office, stained a suspicious brown in one corner. "Here. The co-ordinates."

Hank took it carefully, holding it between his thumb and forefinger at one edge. "Do I want to know what that is?"

"No. And I suggest you wash your hands after." Mal stalked off the bridge, rubbing at his left arm.


	3. Chapter 3

The rain had all but stopped by the pick-up time approached, the sky clearing to leave a quilt of stars beginning to appear as the sun dropped over the horizon.

"It's going to get cold tonight, sir," Zoe said quietly, standing in the lea of the shuttle, the last few drops of water splashing down into the mud.

"Been colder." Mal pulled his scarf tighter around his neck.

"New Casmir," Freya put in. "Now that was cold."

"St Alban's was worse," Mal said. "Gets into a man's bones, cold like that." He paused a moment, then spoke quietly, his tone different. "Jayne, you in place?"

"_Sure are,"_ they heard over their earwigs_. "Got a good range of fire, too. If you come in from the west, you won't be in the way either."_

"Got that." He looked at his first mate and his wife and sketched a smile. "Ladies? Shall we?"

* * *

There was still enough light in the sky to pick their way through the trees, but that was dying fast by the time they got to the rendezvous. As they approached the clearing, Mal stumbled but righted himself quickly, kicking at a non-existent rock as if that had tripped him. No time to be showing weakness, he told himself. Simon did say it was going to take a couple of days to feel better, but right now he was counting the seconds. It didn't help that he knew Freya had her eyes on him, boring right between his shoulder blades.

A man stepped out from the shadows, a lantern turned down to almost nothing in his hand, barely making an imprint on the evening. Two other men were at his back, and Zoe took a pace away to cover their rear if need be, her hand ready to draw her Mare's Leg at any sign of trouble.

_Two more_, Mal heard, Freya's voice caressing his mind, almost but not quite concealing her concern for him. _In the trees to the left._

He tried to see, but all he could make out were dark shapes that might or might not be men. Not that he didn't believe her – sometimes it was so handy to be married to a Reader. _Not good placement_, he thought back, hands easy at his sides, close to his own gunbelt_. They can't see us that well._

_They're not used to this._

_Amateurs?_

_Nervous._

_Makes for a troublesome time, if someone decides their nerves are worth killing for._

_Jayne's seen them._

_Oh, good._

Mal's ironic mental tone made Freya hide a smile.

Above them, some distance away in the rocks halfway up an incline, Jayne stared at the men hiding in the trees. _Tzao gao,_ but he hated amateurs. Where they were standing their field of vision was severely restricted, and if it did come down to a gunfight they'd prob'ly just be shooting their own men instead of Mal. Not like him. He swung the rifle through a slight arc back to the main group, able to pick out Mal's features as if he was standing in direct daylight even in the dim glow of the lamp.

Jayne half smiled and resisted the urge to pat the night-scope. A nice bit of kit, he'd always thought. Especially considering how he acquired it. Took it off a dead man on Pi Gu that one time. Damn fool had tried to use it like a club. But then, Jayne had snuck up on him since he hadn't been looking out for anyone willing or capable of scaling that wall. Still, it was worth the skinned elbows and pulled muscles just to own this thing. Hadn't been back there since, mind. Cruddy little moon. Now that really _was_ the ass end of the 'verse. He grinned, then went back to concentrating on controlling his breathing as a new voice sounded in his ear.

"My name is Brant Fisher." The leading man spoke, the small amount of twilight left showing him to be in his middle age, thickish around the middle, with dark curls pushing out from under his fur hat. "You are Captain Reynolds?"

"That I am," Mal confirmed.

"And these?"

"Crew."

Fisher ran his eyes across the women for a moment, but obviously, and more than a little erroneously, considered they weren't dangerous and decided to ignore them. "Then we've got something for you."

Up in the rocks above Jayne tensed slightly, taking the slack out of the trigger.

"The goods we're to get to Priam." Mal could feel the cold biting into his fingers, but rather that than keep his gloves on and not be able to draw his gun fast enough. Hopefully they'd be done before there was irreparable damage.

"Just back there." Fisher gestured into the shadows, next to where the other men were watching.

"How much?"

"A dozen crates."

"What's in 'em?"

Fisher didn't respond for a moment, then said, as if it was of no account, "Medical supplies."

"Anything likely to blow up on me?"

"No. Just run of the mill stuff. Plasma, insulin, some other drugs. That kinda stuff. Can't get it off the Alliance, not in the amounts they need, not out there."

"Stolen?"

"You have a problem with that?"

"No, not particularly. Just like to know these things." Mal tried a smile. "Whatever you paid for 'em, we could probably have done it cheaper."

"Maybe next time." Fisher shrugged.

"You wouldn't be paying Badger his commission, either."

Fisher surprised everyone by chuckling. "Yeah, well, I'll bear that in mind." He stepped forward, something held out in his hand. "Here. Half. As agreed."

"Shiny." Mal took the pouch then tossed the money to his first mate. "Zoe."

"Sir." She tucked it inside her coat.

"Any particular point you want the stuff dropped off, or do we just fly over Priam and look for a good spot?" He waited. "Fisher."

The other man jerked, almost startled. "What? Oh, yeah, the co-ordinates." He handed over a slip of paper. "Here. It's just outside of Hecuba, the main port."

"And there'll be someone to meet us with the rest of the money."

"Yes. Yes." He seemed anxious to get away now. "The sooner you can get it there, the better. There are some sick people need it."

"We'll manage."

"Good." Fisher rubbed his hands together. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I'll go. Places to be, you understand."

"Sure. And remember what I said about next time. There's more'n one way of getting anything you need."

"Yes, I will." Fisher nodded, then backed up, waiting until he was in the trees to turn and hurry away. He hadn't taken his eyes off Zoe for the entire time.

"Did you know him?" Freya asked the first mate, her voice low and urgent as Mal put the call through to Hank to bring the shuttle in.

Zoe raised an eyebrow. "No. Why?"

"He was afraid. Of you."

"Me?"

Mal moved closer. "What's this about?"

"Fisher knew Zoe's name." Freya fingered the butt of her gun. "He was scared of her. I … his natural walls were too strong, and I didn't want him to know I was peeking, but … Mal, I don't like this."

"Well, we've got the money. Can't not take the job." He stared into the darkness where Fisher and his men had disappeared. "Nothing else? You couldn't feel why at all?"

Freya shook her head. "No. Just fear. And …" She stopped.

"And what?" Mal prompted.

"Relief. He'd done what he planned."

Mal pulled the com out of his pocket again. "Hank, you hold back a while."

"_How come?"_

"Just do it. I'll call when it's okay."

"_Mal, is there a problem?"_ Hank sounded more than a little concerned.

"Not sure." He tapped his earwig. "Jayne, you still there?"

"_Just coming."_

"Good. We need to make sure there's nothing we don't know about in these crates, before I put them on board Serenity." In his mind's eye he was seeing Road Runner explode, and burying the bits they could find of her crew on Prom. "I might be paranoid, but sometimes folks really are out to get me."

"_Gorramit. Why can't a job just go down smooth?"_ the big man growled.

"The way of the 'verse," Mal said. He looked at Frey. "I don't suppose you'd walk away if I told you?"

She didn't even dignify that with a response, just drew the knife from her boot and opened up the first of the crates with it, levering off the top. She was carefully lifting out the first layer of medicine boxes when Jayne crashed through the undergrowth to join them.

Zoe dragged a torch from her pocket, and between them they made short work of emptying the contents and examining every item.

"Nothing I can see, Mal," Jayne said, opening a carton that proclaimed the contents to be Medical Grade Cardiac Stents. "If there's a bomb it's gonna have to be rutting small."

"Frey?" Mal looked at his wife.

She shrugged, evidently not really satisfied. "I suppose. I can't feel anything, and I think I'd be able to."

"So it's not going to blow up in our faces."

"Not this, anyway."

He moved close enough to see her eyes in the dark. "You're still worried."

"Fisher was hiding something. I wish I could've read him, but –"

"Nothing we can do about it now, except be warned." He looked at Jayne. "Pack everything back up. We've been paid, so we'd best be going. We can take another look in better light on Serenity, but …" He closed his eyes for a moment, centring himself. "Let's just get the job done, _dong mah_?"

"Yes, sir," Zoe said, feeling an itch on the back of her neck like she was in someone's crosshairs.

* * *

It was going to take the best part of a fortnight to get to Ithaca, almost at the furthest point of its orbit from Persephone, especially keeping out of the way of Alliance patrols as they were, and life settled back down to pretty much normal. They'd gone through the crates with a fine tooth comb, but they were what they appeared to be, and everyone began to relax.

Freya held lessons every morning, and in the afternoon she and River spent an hour or two in the engine room with Kaylee, being reminded how everything worked. Not that River forgot, but after four days of training she fully admitted that while she understood the principle of it all, and could take it apart and put it back together with only one or two items left over, she couldn't _hear_ Serenity.

Bethie, sitting on the step, put her head to one side. "But it's easy," she said, her small hands clasped between her knees. "Momma, there's a squeak."

Kaylee looked at her eldest. "Where, honey?"

The little girl stood up and scampered inside, standing well back from any moving parts, but pointing under the spinning heart. "There."

"You sure?"

"Mmn."

Both Freya and River tried to hear it, but to them there was nothing but the usual sounds of metal turning against metal, keeping the Firefly going. They exchanged a glance.

Kaylee listened. "You're right," she said, pushing the trolley into place before starting to lower herself down onto it.

"Whoa, there," Mal said from the doorway. "You ain't supposed to be doing that."

She looked over at him. "I'm shiny, Cap."

"I know that. But that's what they're here for." He nodded towards his wife and surrogate daughter. "You're supposed to be showing them."

"But it'll take less time to do it than to tell 'em where it is," Kaylee protested.

"And then it'll be done and they won't have learned anything."

She glared at him, but it was a bit like being threatened by a sweet, pregnant teddy bear.

"He's right," Freya put in, her mouth quirked up. "If we don't practice, what happens when you're in the middle of labour and something breaks?"

"Nothing's gonna break!" She was now indignant.

"And you can swear to that, can you?" Mal asked.

"I'll help them, Momma," Bethie said, taking her mother's hand. "I'll tell them where it hurts, then they can fix it."

Mal smiled. "You do that, short stub."

The little girl grinned widely at him.

Kaylee exhaled loudly. "Fine. River, you'd better do it. You've got smaller hands than Frey. You have to get in under the …"

Mal watched for a moment longer, then turned and headed back to the galley.

Freya, half her mind still on what Kaylee was saying, found herself drifting to him. He was pretending very well, but that's all it was. When the others were around he was his normal self, a bit grumpy maybe, but reminding Jayne not to tell off colour jokes at the dinner table when the kids were around, or sitting up on the bridge, talking over the best route with Hank. But when he was alone, when there was nobody he needed to protect, he let the weariness show in his face and body.

Simon might not have seen it, but he knew Mal had to be putting up walls, mainly because he hadn't been able to clear the infection from his captain's blood.

That night, as they prepared for bed, Simon shared his misgivings with Kaylee.

"You sure?" his wife asked, kicking her sandals into the corner.

"I tested his blood again today, and I might as well have been injecting him with coloured water." He pulled off his sweater and laid it on the chair.

"And you checked 'em? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time we've bought something and it turned out to be fake."

"No, they're fine. And they should have done the trick." He watched her strip out of her clothes, his mind half on the sight of her naked and oddly erotic pregnant body appearing, and half on the problem of their captain. "I'm beginning to wonder if … well, if I'm just not seeing something really obvious. Something specifically physical."

"Can't you tell?"

"No. At least, not at the moment. My scanners aren't designed for this sort of speculative work, and I don't really know what I'm looking for."

"He hasn't told you how he feels?"

"No. I can hardly make him step into the infirmary to give blood, let alone anything more. And I don't have the tests I need to check anything deeper."

She crossed the small room and put her arms around him. "Maybe you can pick something up someplace?"

"Maybe. I wish I'd had the chance to do something more than just get food supplies at Eavesdown, but Mal was adamant about us not wasting time."

"Wouldn't've been wasting it, if he'd known."

He pulled her closer. "Too late to worry about that right now, though."

"Can I help with the scanner? Maybe me and River, we can think of a way of boosting it, make it like one of those holoimagers like they had on Ariel."

He smiled slightly. "I wish you could, but I think that would be a miracle."

"We can take a look. You never know."

"Thank you, _bao bei_."

"You don't need to do that. We're talkin' about the Cap here, and none of us wants to see him sick." She shook her head. "And I know what you mean. When he thinks you ain't looking, you can see it in his face."

"Freya's trying to keep an eye on him, but …"

"Yeah." For a moment Kaylee stood silently, her fingertips just stroking the centre of Simon's breast bone. "Pity there ain't anything like that in those crates we're hauling. I'm sure they wouldn't've mind if you borrowed it."

"No. But it's just supplies and small blood machines. Nothing like as complicated as a scanner."

"Pity."

"Yes."

There was another comfortable, husband and wife pause, then Kaylee said slowly, "You know, maybe there's something you might be able to use among that stuff we left in the Arachnids."

"What?"

"Those crates we were supposed to deliver. I mean, the Cap was right about them being too hot to fence right away, but maybe there's something like the scanner you want out there."

He looked down into her face in surprise. "That's …"

"A good idea?" she finished for him.

"Yes. A very good idea. I'll talk to Mal about it in the morning. Perhaps we can swing by."

"Prob'ly be on the way back. I don't think Hank's got us going anywhere close to Hera at the moment."

He could help it. He chuckled. "Now why didn't I think of that?"

She grinned. "'Cause you might be top three percent, but you've got a ways to go before you can be as sneaky as me."

"You think so, do you?"

"I do."

"We'll have to see about that." His hands were suddenly at her waist, ticking her sensitive spots, and she was wriggling, trying to get away from him even as her laughter took all her strength.

* * *

In the galley, Mal was sitting nursing a cup of coffee, staring off into nowhere in particular. Freya watched him for a moment, then stepped down, moving quietly around him to sit in her normal place. She reached out and picked up his mug, taking a mouthful and swirling it around her mouth before swallowing.

"That's mine," Mal complained gently.

"Community property."

His lips twitched. "That right."

"It surely is." She examined his face, noting the lines that hadn't been there a week or two before. "Ethan wants to know if we're fighting." At Mal's surprised look, she went on, "He doesn't like it when we fight. It makes him feel … wrong."

"Did you tell him we weren't?"

"I'm not sure he believes me."

"Why not? Why does he think we're fighting?"

"Because you haven't come to bed for long enough to get a decent night's sleep in four days."

"I'm not tired."

"Right."

He gazed at her. "Then … maybe I don't want to waste the time I've got left."

"Okay, now we're fighting." She glared at him, feeling the anger burning in her belly. "I won't have you talking like that, Mal."

"I'm being realistic. Simon doesn't know what this is –"

"Because you won't give him long enough to find out!" Her voice rang from the superstructure, and she had to take a deep breath and make a conscious effort to calm down. "Mal, you have to let him do his job."

"What if I don't like what he finds?" Mal pushed the mug away across the table, some of the coffee slopping out onto the worn surface. "What then?"

"And not knowing is going to make it go away?"

He grasped his hands together, almost in prayer. "I ain't never been sick, Frey. Not like this. Not since I was ten. I've been shot, stabbed, all of that, even had various bugs, measles … but nothing Simon couldn't figure out. And I can't even pinpoint it myself."

She put her hands on top of his. "It's okay to be afraid."

"Didn't say I was."

"I am. Afraid that it's something Simon can fix really easily, but because you won't let him it gets worse." She looked into his eyes, their blueness clouded, and that more than anything ate at her. "Please."

"Frey …"

She'd had enough. "Tomorrow you're going see Simon. And he'd going to do every test that he's ever heard of, and some that he hasn't, and you won't leave that infirmary until he knows what's wrong and makes you better."

"What if he can't?"

Those four words seemed to suck all the air out of the room, and she had to make a conscious decision to breathe. His attitude scared her. Mal didn't give up. He _never_ gave up. He'd fought a war which he'd lost, yet he hadn't stopped fighting. He was always still flying, only it looked like he thought he was about to crash and burn. If this had brought him so low that he honestly believed … No. Don't give it a shape. Don't even entertain the possibility. It wasn't going to happen.

She put on her brave face. "He will. He's smart. Gifted. He said so himself." A small tilt to his mouth gave her encouragement. "He worked out about my hip, didn't he? And he's saved our lives so often I've lost count." She licked her lips. "Mal, I'm not letting anything happen to you. If he can't do it, then we'll find somewhere that can. Hell, we'll talk to Sam. He'll have contacts in some of the best hospitals in the Core. We'll find someone."

"Don't you go suggesting around Kaylee that Simon ain't up to the job," Mal said. "She'd never forgive you."

"Then don't you go thinking it." She squeezed his hands. "Come on. I want to go to bed, and if you're not next to me I won't be able to sleep, and if I can't get to sleep I get cranky. You know I do. And you really don't want to be around me when I'm cranky."

He sat back, and smiled perhaps the first genuine smile for what seemed like days. "Frey, you're …"

"What? Beautiful? Amazing? Incredibly intelligent?"

"All of those. As well as one of the most nagging women I have ever met."

"Well, I try harder." She stood up. "Bed."

He levered himself to his feet, fighting the dizziness that always seemed to be present. "Okay. But it'll only be to sleep."

"Just this once, maybe I'll let you off." She looped her arm around his waist, and felt his drop across her shoulders. "You should know by now that I love you."

"Love you too, Frey. Even when you're ordering me around."

They headed for their bunk, and Freya switched the light off as they stepped out of the galley, more determined than ever. This was her Mal, the man she adored with all her heart, and she was going to see him through this, no matter how afraid she was.


	4. Chapter 4

Zoe sat on the bridge and stared out at the stars. Not that she saw them. Her mind was elsewhere, back on Persephone, replaying the events of the pick-up. She was positive she'd never met Fisher before, even though Freya was insistent the man at least knew her name. She never forgot a face, and while her memory for the minutiae had never been as good as Mal's, Fisher was a stranger to her.

She shook her head slightly. She'd always been slightly jealous of the way Mal was capable of remembering details of other folk's lives that she hadn't picked up on. Even in the war, when he had a shifting and changing platoon under him, then almost a brigade towards the end, he could still recall if someone was married, what their wife's name was, how many kids they had, and would talk to any of the grunts that needed it, showing he cared. Maybe it was a trick, although she doubted it, but she wished she knew how he did it.

"Okay," Hank said, coming up behind her and pulling the seat around to face him. "No moping."

"Ain't moping."

"Then whatever it is you're doing."

"Taking the watch."

"Honey, Serenity's autopilot is more'n capable of making sure we don't hit something." He grinned. "It's time to play."

She raised one eyebrow. "Play?"

"Yeah." He grabbed her hand. "Come on. You're on my team."

"Hank …"

* * *

Jayne watched her sometimes, when he thought she didn't know. Wasn't very often, since she nearly always turned to look at him, a smile lighting her pale face as she fixed her dark eyes on him. But occasionally, when she was thinking about something else, or maybe a hundred something elses, he would catch her unawares, and wonder at how the 'verse could reward a bad man like him with something as good as her.

He was under no illusions. No matter he and Matty had made it up, that he'd managed to spend some quality time with his Ma before she died, he knew what he was. What he was always going to be. But maybe he could be something else as well, and that he owed to a slip of a girl who was crazy enough to want him.

He looked at her under his brows as he fixed the chain holding the makeshift metal hoop in place. She was standing by the edge of the top catwalk further round, outside their shuttle, but her gaze was centred someplace else, outside the ship. Caleb was at her feet, playing with his horse and laughing to himself, but she was taking no notice. Instead her fingers were busy plucking at a strand of her hair.

Jayne stood straight. "Moonbrain? You okay?" He walked towards her. "Riv?"

"Shiny," she said, but it was distantly, and her fingers became a blur.

"You'll be bald by the time you're done," he joked as he reached her, but she didn't smile, or even hit him as was her usual response. "What's up, girl?"

"Not … sure."

Irrationally he glanced towards where she was staring. "We got company?"

"No …" Her brow furrowed.

"Then what?" His shoulders tensed.

"Just …" She shivered, as if ice water had been tipped down her spine.

He pulled her into his arms. "Tell me."

"I can't see. Something. A darkness, but …" She shook her head irritably. "Fuzzy."

"Think Frey might be able to see better?"

She bit her lip. "No. She's too worried about the Captain."

"That's crazy. He's better. You saw him at breakfast. Looks to me like he's thrown off whatever it is, and is back to his truly annoying self."

Mal had, indeed, been acting normally, and had eaten more than for several days. Although, come to think of it, Freya had hardly taken her eyes off him the whole time.

"Hiding it," the psychic explained.

Carefully taking the strand of hair from her fingers and pushing it behind her ear, he ran his finger down her cheek. "River, he'll be okay."

She didn't say anything, just sighed mightily.

Jayne stamped on the urge to smile, mainly because she looked just like her niece but mostly because she could do him some serious harm. Like not sleep with him. "Can I help?" he asked.

She looked into his blue eyes, struck once again by how he accepted and loved her. It was all there, written in those cerulean orbs, if only anyone took the time to read. And she'd – She stopped herself. It must be a bad day if she was letting herself get distracted. "No," she said softly, leaning against him and moulding her form along his strength and aware of every single square nanometre. "My fault."

"'Cause I'm here. No matter what."

She smiled, reaching up to place a soft kiss on his lips. "I know."

He gathered her up, holding her to him, and was about to get much more intimate when Hank hurried out onto the catwalk, Zoe beside him.

"No, no, no," he moaned, turning away somewhat theatrically to face the expanse of the bay. "Not this time of day!"

Jayne glared at him. "I ever come in and interrupt you?" he asked.

"Well, there was that time –"

"Honey." Zoe's voice stopped him in his tracks. "You remember what I told you?"

"No winding the big man up?"

"That's it."

"Fine." He allowed a childish look of petulance cross his face, but it cleared quickly as Kaylee and Simon walked out of the common area, the children following curiously. "Then let's play ball."

"Ball?" Zoe asked.

He turned to her. "Come on. It's been weeks since we had a game, and I feel the need for some gentle exercise."

"So you're taking Jayne on at hoopball."

"Well, I was thinking more about him being on my side -"

The big man grunted. "Forget that," he said, leaning down and scooping Caleb onto his hip. "I intend winning."

* * *

Freya carried the portable Cortex link into the galley from the engine room, setting it down on the table. The last time they'd used it, the screen had shorted, and Kaylee took it into her domain to try and fix, saying it was probably all the time Jayne had spent staring at the Kugelman Hoard that had done it. The big man had groaned and made himself out to be hard done by, but by the looks of things, their wonder of a mechanic had managed to replace whatever had blown, and Freya was looking forward to telling the children the ancient Greek legend of Ulysses and his ten year journey home to Ithaca.

Not that there was sign of the children yet, but they knew when lessons were about to start, and usually made it without too much calling. In fact no-one was about, and when she looked along the corridor it appeared that the bridge was empty too.

Strolling back towards their bunk, she leaned over the open hatch. "Mal? Come on. Time to go see Simon." There was no response. "Mal? I know you don't want to see him, but you have to." Stepping down the ladder just far enough to ascertain the room was empty, her brow furrowed. "Where is he?" she said to herself.

Climbing back up she heard someone shouting. Not in fear or anger, but more joyful than that. It seemed to be coming up the stairs from the cargo bay. She hurried down, stepping onto the catwalk and coming to a dead stop in surprise.

Jayne had Bethie on his shoulders, and she was holding onto the big silver ball while her Uncle darted between Hank and Zoe. Then she was under the hoop.

"Score!" Jayne crowed.

"That ain't fair," Hank complained, his voice rasping as he leaned forward with his hands on his knees and tried to avoid fainting. "You've got too many on your team."

"And you didn't get Ethan to put one through for you?" Jayne pointed out.

Someone laughed. "He's got you there."

Freya was surprised. That was Mal. She bent over the railing a little further, looking directly down, and saw her husband, with his suspenders around his hips and shirt off. "Mal?"

He moved out into the bay so he could see her as he tried to catch his breath. "Hey, Frey. You gonna come and join us?"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Playing hoopball." He nodded towards his pilot. "Maybe you can take Hank's place, seeing as he's pretty much dying."

"Am not!"

Mal ignored the man. "Or we can make it four on four, and River joins in."

"Mal …" Freya couldn't believe what she was seeing, and heat began to burn in her belly. "You shouldn't be … you're not … this isn't good for you."

He held up a hand. "I'm feeling okay, Frey. Better'n yesterday, that's for sure. So I thought I'd -"

"Thought?" She stared at him. "I doubt there's much in that brain of yours other than pretending!" She shook her head slowly. "What about last night? When we were -"

His eyes hardened a little. "Frey, you really wanna go into that now?"

She opened her mouth to argue, to tell him exactly what she thought of him, that he was the most exasperating man she had ever met … then a wave of discomfort so acute washed over her that her chest felt tight, and she had to hold onto the railing to stop from falling to her knees.

"He's not playing that hard," Simon said, trying to placate the irate woman, noticing her distress but putting it down to the anger.

Freya managed to get enough air into her lungs. "Not … Then how come he's sweating so much?" Something was wrong. Very wrong.

The doctor seemed surprised, then took a better look at his captain. His dark brown t-shirt was indeed soaking wet around the neck, and was sticking to his back. Yet despite this, his face was pale. Simon moved forward. "Mal, I think maybe I'd better -"

"I'm fine," Mal said firmly, rubbing his fist into the centre of his chest. "Just a bit winded, is all. Maybe I ain't as young as I thought I was, and p'raps I'd better sit this next …" He had to stop as the ache spread down his arm.

"Simon," River said urgently, her own skin deathly white.

Hank, the closest to him, put out his hand. "Mal?"

"_Wo de_ …" Mal couldn't finish. Pain crashed through him, knocking all the air out of him as if he was in a giant vice. He staggered back, and would have fallen if Zoe's strong arms hadn't eased him down to the deck.

Kaylee gasped, her hands to her mouth.

"Daddy?" Ethan asked, darting forwards only to be stopped by River's hands on his shoulders. "Want to help. Let me go!" He started to struggle, but she went down onto her heels and pulled him against her.

"Ethan, shh."

"Let go!"

_Ethan._ He heard his Aunt's voice in his mind, and he stopped struggling, but he wouldn't take his eyes off his father's prone figure.

Freya was trying to climb down the stairs, but her vision was clouded, psychic pain radiating through her. "Mal …" she whispered.

_Help Freya,_ River dropped into Jayne's brain this time. _She's feeling it._

The big man nodded and bounded up the steps, putting his arm around his friend and half-carrying her back to the bay floor.

Simon was on his knees next to Mal. "Tell me," he said quietly, slipping into his professional mode.

"Can't … can't breathe …" Mal ground out. "Pain. Like someone's … sitting on … my chest."

"Infirmary," Simon ordered, and between them Hank and Zoe lifted their captain up, carrying him swiftly through the doorway to the common area.

"Simon?" Kaylee whimpered.

"Look after the kids." Then he was gone, Jayne helping Freya after him.

Kaylee turned to gaze at the children. River still had hold of Ethan, rocking him slightly, while Bethie's fingers were tangled up with Jesse's, her eyes wide and full of unshed tears. Hope and Ben were still sitting on the deck, but he had his little arms around her, and she was shivering. Even Caleb, who didn't know what was going on, had stopped playing with his horse and was staring.

"Is it a …" she asked, her hand above her heart.

River nodded slowly.

"Daddy?" Ethan murmured.

* * *

Simon slipped the oxygen mask over Mal's face, turning up the flow to alleviate the blueish tinge to the man's lips. "Try and breathe normally," he advised.

"Easy … easy for you … to … say." Mal tried to smile but it turned into a grimace.

Zoe was getting out the sensors, but with Mal's t-shirt still on …

"Here." Jayne slid Binky from its sheath and quickly, but with care, slit the fabric from base to neck.

"Thanks."

"That's … my … best …" Mal complained, but couldn't finish.

"Why do you have to do that?" Freya asked, standing next to him, his hand wrapped in hers. "Make stupid jokes all the gorram time?" She still sounded angry, but now it was because of him, not at him, and she was biting back the tears.

"Thought that … that was … what you loved 'bout … me."

"Mal, I could seriously -"

"Freya, please, I need to work." Simon tried to push her away, placing the sensors on Mal's chest. Immediately the infirmary was filled with a fast-running beeping sound, almost too close together to count.

"No, I -"

"Jayne."

The big man put his arms around Freya's, pulling her away. "Let him do his job, Frey."

She didn't want to, but the look in Mal's eyes, the pain she felt coming from him in waves, made her reluctantly release his fingers and allow Jayne to ease her back.

Taking the small handheld scanner from Zoe's outstretched hand, Simon ran it over Mal's chest. What he saw had his face tightening. "TriLasothin. 10 milligrams. That cupboard." He pointed.

Zoe nodded.

"Doc?" Hank asked.

"It's a vasodilator." Simon looked down at his patient. "It will help, but I can't give you too much, not until I know the cause."

"Thought I … I was dying," Mal managed to say, unbidden tears from the pain leaking out of the corners of his eyes and running down into his hair.

"Not on my watch." Taking the hypogun, he injected it directly into Mal's neck.

There was a moment's silence, then the beeping began to moderate, become more measured. Simon nodded slowly, not taking his eyes from the readouts on the wall.

Mal took a breath, then another, and closed his eyes at the wonderful sensation of the concrete block on his chest easing.

"Mal?" Freya pulled free from Jayne's grip and approached the medbed.

"Sorry," he whispered, his voice distorted by the oxygen mask. "Didn't mean to scare you like that."

"Scare me?" She took his hand, this time unwilling and unable to let go. "If you ever do that to me again, I'll …"

"What?"

"I'll think of something."

"Can't be worse than seeing that look in your eye." He squeezed her fingers.

She could hardly feel it. "You mean me being absolutely livid with you for being so stupid?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

Hank grinned at Zoe, relieved that whatever it was had been averted, then faltered as he saw the look on her face.

Simon ran the scanner over Mal's chest again, then looked at the readouts once more. "Hank, where's the nearest planet with a decent hospital?"

The atmosphere, which had begun to lighten, thickened immediately.

"Um, now? Probably Boros." He swallowed. "Why?"

"How long would it take us to get there?"

"Well, we're fuelled so we could do it full burn most of -"

"How long?"

"Thirty hours and twenty seven minutes," River said, appearing in the infirmary doorway.

"Do it." Simon turned back to the readouts.

Hank glanced at Zoe. "Look, I don't exactly -"

"Do it," she repeated softly, looking at him just once before going back to gaze at her captain.

He stared at her, then nodded in understanding, and ran out of the room. They could hear his footsteps disappearing up the stairs.

"I take it there ain't no good news," Mal said, taking shallow breaths, wary of feeling the overwhelming pain in his chest again.

Simon turned and looked down at him. "You had a heart attack. At the moment, I don't know why. But there's a serious narrowing of the artery, and one of the valves in your heart doesn't appear to be functioning properly."

"And the … the pain?"

"Your heart was trying to push blood it wasn't getting around your body. Mal, I'll be honest with you. You were moments away from full cardiac arrest."

Freya's hands tightened.

"That … don't sound great," Mal said, swallowing hard.

"It's not. What I gave you opened up the blood vessels enough so that your heart can pump more normally, but if I don't figure out the reason …"

"I could have another."

"Yes. And this time it could be fatal."

In the silence that followed everyone held their breath.

Finally Mal said, "You think you should be telling me that, doc? Man in my condition?"

Simon's lips twitched, just once. "You'd rather I lied to you?"

"No. But sugar coating it wouldn't've been a bad idea."

"Well, you've always said my bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired."

Mal knew the normally stoic professional manner of his resident medic hid real concern and love for his patients, so he didn't take it to heart. So to speak. "Surely have. And Boros?"

"I'm a good doctor. But I might need help this time."

"Then it looks like I ain't going anywhere."

"No, you're not."

Mal lifted his head enough to look at his first mate. "Zoe, you got the ship. Since I'm otherwise engaged."

"Yes sir."

"Don't crash her."

"I'll try not to." She squared her shoulders and walked out, heading for the bridge.

Jayne looked out into the common area, and saw his wife staring at him. Leaving the others, he joined her. "River?"

"Look after the children," she said quietly. "I need to stay close in case Simon needs me."

"You think -"

She put her fingers across his lips, silencing him. "I don't know. But I have to stay. And Kaylee needs to be in the engine room."

He looked into her eyes and nodded. "They're gonna be worried. 'Specially Ethan."

"Take them into the shuttle and talk to them."

"What about?" He couldn't help it. He had to chuckle. "Moonbrain, there's only a few things I know any too well, and most of 'em ain't right for ears that young."

"Tell them about your childhood. You and Matty. Get them to paint the stories."

"Paint 'em. Huh." He shook his head. "Not sure I can do this."

She put her hand on his cheek. "My Jayne can do anything."

"Think maybe you're gonna be sorely mistaken." He bent for a kiss then hurried into the cargo bay.

* * *

Time seemed to pass slowly in the infirmary, so Freya was surprised to look up and see more than an hour had gone by since she'd set up for lessons. Simon was busy with his machines, and Mal didn't seem in the mood to talk, so she just sat on the stool and held his hand. But eventually it got to be too much.

"Considering you've done almost anything to stay out of the infirmary, you also seem to put yourself in harm's way enough just to end up back in here," she said, needing to fill the quiet. "Is there something you've been trying to tell me?"

Mal smiled, slightly blurred through the mask. "Yes. Sorry, but me and Simon are planning on running off together to live a life of decadent luxury."

"Right." She brushed his damp hair from his forehead. "So me and mine are going to be left destitute."

"I'm sure you'll be able to find someone to replace me."

She licked dry lips. "I don't want that, _xin gan_."

That was too close for comfort, so he found refuge in humour again. "Don't know how you're gonna break it to Kaylee that her hubby's sly, though."

She let him. "Carefully."

Mal smiled.

"Hey, I'm right here, you know," the doctor complained, adjusting the sensors delicately, only half listening to the banter going on under his nose.

Freya ignored him. "Although, you know, I always thought if I were to lose you to another man, it would be Jayne."

Mal's eyes widened. "Jayne?"

"Mmn. All those muscles. The blue eyes. Something about him, especially when he's all sweaty from working out …"

"Sounds like you're the one I need to worry about."

She leaned down, moved the mask to one side so she could press her lips against his, just once. Putting it back she whispered, "Never."

"'Sides," Mal went on, tasting her in his mouth, "if I made a move on Jayne I think River'd hunt me down."

"True." She nodded slightly. "Better stay where you know you're wanted."

"Intend to, Frey."

Simon coughed. "I hate to interrupt this display of slightly saccharin affection, but I need to take some blood." He held up a hypo.

"More?" Mal asked. "You sure I got enough?"

"Barely. But I won't take much." He slid the needle into the vein on Mal's arm.

"Ouch."

"Baby," Freya murmured.

"You ain't on the receiving end." He watched the precious red liquid fill the tube. "Seems like a lot, doc."

Removing the hypo Simon pressed on the tiny wound. "I need to do some more -"

"Here." River had stepped silently into the infirmary, and was holding out a handful of small boxes.

"What's that?" Simon asked, taking them from her.

"I went through one of the crates."

Simon's eyebrows raised as he studied the details. "This is … pretty high end stuff."

"What is it, doc?" Mal wanted to know, trying to raise himself onto his elbows but feeling as weak as a kitten as Freya pressed him gently back down.

"Blood tests. Some of the newest on the market." He smiled at his sister. "Thanks."

"If you want I'll keep looking, see what else is in there."

"Hey, we gotta deliver that." Mal held up a hand. "Hello? Anyone listening? I'm still captain here."

"No, you're not," Simon pointed out, taking the tests to the counter and opening them up. "You relinquished that to Zoe."

"Temporarily, doc. Only temporarily." A feeling of weariness spread through him, and his eyes began to close.

"Simon?" Freya spoke urgently.

He turned, checking the readouts. "It's okay. He's just tired," he assured her. "Sleep wouldn't be a bad thing. It puts less strain on the heart."

She nodded, but the look of concern didn't leave her face.

"It's okay, _ai ren,_" Mal said, his words slurring slightly. "Just gonna take a few. Wake me if something important happens."

"Right." She rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good. That's good." He slipped into sleep.

"Honestly, Frey, it's the best thing for him right now." Simon smiled at her, then went back to the tests.

It didn't help.

* * *

"You got them?"

"Yeah. Picking up their transponder code loud and clear."

"Might've cost, but it's worth it."

"They ain't heading to Priam, though."

"Oh? Where?"

"Not sure. Could be Boros."

"Lousy thieves. Probably never intended making the delivery."

"Then what are we?"

"Justice."

"Boone …"

"Move us up. I want this done. And that bitch dead."


	5. Chapter 5

For the hundredth time since Mal collapsed, Simon glanced over at him lying on the medbed. He was still asleep, and Freya was dozing next to him, her head pillowed on her crossed arms. The after effects of all the tension and worry had finally caught up with her, and as much as she wanted to stay awake, to keep watch over him, her body had rebelled. She still had her hand wrapped around his, though.

Simon half-smiled. There were times when Serenity's captain could annoy him like no other man alive, but he rather wanted to keep it that way. Quickly checking the monitors on the wall above him, he ascertained there had been no deterioration in Mal's condition, so turned back to the tests.

His little blood analyser had been working overtime. With the kits River had found in the crates he'd managed to rule out a number of possible causes, some obvious, some not. It wasn't even as if Mal's lifestyle could really have caused the attack, since most days they didn't have access to high cholesterol foods, or an over-abundance of salt or sugar.

Indeed, for a man who seemed to take little exercise apart from occasionally working out on Jayne's weights, and running from the law and villains alike, he was in remarkably good condition. Perhaps it was having a wife like Freya. Although, come to think of it, Simon really didn't want to go down that mental route.

"Doc?" Zoe's voice, kept low to avoid waking the patient, or his wife, had him turning.

He held up a hand, checking once more on Mal, then walked out of the infirmary to join her. "I'm presuming we're on our way to Boros."

Serenity's first mate nodded. "Yes. Hank's keeping an eye out for Alliance boats, seeing if maybe they'll be closer, but it looks like we're just going to have to wait it out." Her eyes strayed to the man on the bed. "How is he?"

"Holding his own."

"Are you any closer to finding out why this happened?"

"Not yet. Although by ruling out a number of possibilities, I suppose in a way …" He shrugged.

Zoe nodded. "You'll figure it out."

"You have such faith in me."

She put her hand on his arm. "We all do, Simon."

"I hope it's justified."

Zoe gazed at him, seeing the lines of worry at the corners of his eyes, the tightness to his mouth. "Kaylee did some food. Maybe you should grab something. I can stay here, keep an eye on Mal."

"No, I'm fine."

"We don't want you collapsing too."

Simon almost laughed. "Zoe, there were days back in the ER when I went without sleep for more than sixty hours, kept awake by nothing more than a sandwich and several dozen cups of seriously disgusting coffee."

"Simon, you're not as young as you were."

He had to smile at her ability to keep a straight face. "I don't think I can disagree with you on that point. But I think I can go a bit longer. With some sustenance."

Zoe shook her head. "The coffee I'm not sure we can manage, although I think Hank may have concocted something a while ago so maybe we can, but a sandwich wouldn't be a bad idea."

"Perhaps someone could bring it down?"

"You need a break."

"I'll take one when he's back on his feet."

"Simon …" Her tone was chastising now.

"He's my patient. I'm not going to …" He was interrupted by a soft beeping from the blood analysis unit. "Another result," he explained, stepping quietly back into the infirmary.

Freya had lifted her head, blinking sleep from her eyes.

Zoe watched the young man read the results, then saw his back tense. "What?"

"I know."

Zoe stood straight, and on the edge of her vision she saw Freya rise slowly from the stool. "Simon?"

He ran the results again, getting the same conclusion. "_Wang xiang tai_."

"What?" Zoe moved closer. "Simon, what?"

Still staring at the readout, he explained, "It's a variant on a common immuno-virus, which is why I didn't pick it up at first. It attaches itself to areas that are unable to defend themselves. These seem to be particularly resilient, as well."

"I don't understand."

"The valves of the heart don't have their own blood supply, so the white blood cells – the ones that do the actual fighting – can't do their work, and antibiotics are ineffective except on any secondary infections."

"That's why you couldn't clear it," Zoe said slowly.

Simon picked up the small hand scanner, running it across Mal's chest again, acutely aware of Freya's gaze on him. "Now I know what I'm … there."

Zoe looked at the tiny screen but couldn't make sense of what she was seeing. "What?"

"The infection has caused endocarditis, specifically of the valves, and the vegetation has been interrupting the normal workings of –"

"Doc. I don't know what that is."

He thought for a moment. "It's like … a growth. On the valve itself. Not cancerous, but a mixture of fibrin, platelets, the micro-organisms themselves."

"You mean like that fungus River had on her plants. Took her a while to clear it."

"That's it exactly. It's also the reason for the blockage. I'd say some of the resistant bacteria broke off, went through the blood stream then attached themselves to the artery wall. Even though the antibiotics I gave him killed them, they provided a foothold for the next batch."

"Why didn't you find this out before?" Freya whispered, although her fury was evident from the bright red patches on her cheeks, stark against the paleness of the rest of her complexion. "If it's so obvious."

"Because it isn't. Not in a man like Mal." He shook his head. "It's right-sided, and that's something I'd expect to see in someone who used drops, injecting themselves with … but this is … I can't …" His voice faded and he turned quickly on his heel to stare at the captain. "He's never … has he?"

Zoe shook her head, speaking quickly before Freya could. "No."

"Not even … back in the war?"

She knew what he was referring to. It might not be common knowledge, but being a doctor he had probably been made aware of it. All too many, on both sides, had taken to using drugs, whether it be drops or one of the other dozen or so designer narcotics supplied by companies like Blue Sun. It killed the pain, the fear, but let them carry on.

"Not even then," she said firmly. "Hated the damn things, from the get go. Tried to talk those that used them out of it, held their hands if they did, but didn't condemn those that couldn't." She took a deep breath. "And every one of 'em respected him for it."

Simon looked abashed. "I didn't mean to suggest -"

"No, I know. It's okay. But he ain't never used. Never will."

"Then I don't see …" His voice faded, and he unfocused, looking very like his sister when she was putting the pieces together. Then his forehead tightened.

"Simon?"

"I … my God." He'd gone paler than ever.

Zoe grabbed his arm, pulling him around to look directly into his eyes. "What? What is it?"

"I … think I know."

"Gorramit, Simon, tell me! If I have to go get my gun –"

"Quicksilver."

"What?"

"On Niska's boat. I didn't think there'd been any permanent damage, but …"

"_Cao._"

"Simon …" Freya could hardly breathe. In her mind's eye she could see Mal strapped to the bench, Niska standing to one side, a sick smile on his warped and scarred face. She could do nothing but watch as the Quicksilver slipped through Mal's skin, wrapping itself around his vital organs, around his heart … hearing his scream as it violated his body, her own echoing. "No …" she whispered, unable to see anything but her husband twisting in agony.

"Frey, are you okay?" Simon asked, but she was still too deep in the memory.

The torturer using the glove, reaching into the hologram floating above Mal's body, squeezing, the silver skin inside mimicking his every move …

"Freya."

The image shattered and she looked up, sweat running in a rivulet down her cheek, staining her shirt. "I …" She swallowed, attempting to pull herself together. "Yes. Yes. Go on."

"How?" Zoe wanted to know. "How did this happen?"

The young man took a deep breath. "It must have been contaminated. Or taken the virus with it from Mal's skin. Just a few micro-organisms, but it would be enough. Only one had to survive the antibiotics, attach itself to the valve … plenty of nutrients in the blood to grow, multiply."

"Niska …" Zoe's face had hardened, wishing he were here right now, in front of her.

"Mal killed him."

"That bastard of an old man isn't going to repay the compliment," she breathed, making it a statement of fact.

"He won't." The doctor was back, his professionalism in place, and he checked the monitors once more. "Now we know, it will be that much easier for a cardiac surgeon to repair."

"So he's gonna be okay." Zoe glanced at her captain.

"As long as … yes." He didn't have to go into all the things that could go wrong. "And … I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Not realising before. I told Mal I didn't know if there would be any side-effects from the Quicksilver, but I thought, after all this time … I should have made sure, kept a closer eye on him. I'm sorry."

"Not me you should be apologising to," Zoe pointed out. She gestured towards Freya, who was stroking Mal's hair from his forehead again, just lightly so as not to wake him.

Simon nodded. "Frey, I –"

"Just don't let him die," Freya said quietly, all her attention on her husband.

* * *

Hank knew the ship could fly itself. He didn't have to sit up here on the bridge, his thoughts turned in on themselves even as his eyes scanned the heavens. The autopilot was more than capable of making any slight course corrections. He'd said just that when the others baulked at playing hoopball. A game he'd suggested. A game that ended up with Mal having a heart attack.

Guilt washed through him again. If he hadn't been so bored, so willing to do anything to break the monotony of staring at the stars, maybe … Except if it wasn't then perhaps it would have been on the job. From what Simon said, it was a bit like a bomb waiting to go off. An accident waiting to happen. And if that had happened, maybe Simon wouldn't have been around, and the outcome would have been much, much worse.

Only it wasn't an accident, either.

He swallowed as his thoughts came right back to where he started. "Your own stupid fault," he said to himself. "Be just like you. Letting your friend down."

"Not your fault."

He turned in the seat. Bethie stood in the doorway, Ben at her side.

"What are you doing up here?" Hank asked, trying to find a smile from somewhere.

"Not your fault," the little girl repeated. "Just happened."

"Yeah, because I –"

"No." For someone who had barely reached six she was very firm.

"You really think so, short stub?"

She nodded vehemently. "I do."

"So you came up to tell me."

The nodding became even more pronounced. "'Es. And Ben wanted to see his daddy, but he was scared to come alone."

"Was not," the little boy muttered, crossing the bridge to his father and allowing himself to be picked up.

"I've been keeping everyone in my room," Bethie went on, ignoring the interruption. "But Caleb's the only one that can sleep."

"I'm guessing Ethan and Jesse are really upset."

She nodded. "Been trying to make Ethan's walls stronger, but he's being _zhao shuo_."

Hank's smile became more genuine. "I'm sure he isn't trying to be annoying."

Bethie rolled her foot. "Still is."

"So you wanted to see me?" he asked his son.

Ben nodded. "Wanted to help." He glanced towards the controls. "Fly Serenity."

Yes, definitely his son, Hank thought contentedly, despite the circumstances. "Well, we're on our way to Boros, and the course is all laid in, so there's not much to do right now."

"I can watch."

"Well, that's kinda what I'm doing –"

"Watch _that_." Ben tapped the external sensor screen.

Hank looked down. "Gorramit." A ship, coming in fast, right for them. He'd been so intent on his own guilt he hadn't noticed. Quickly putting Ben back on the deck, he pulled down the com handset. "Zoe."

Down in the infirmary, the first mate glared at the loudspeaker. She thumbed the switch. "What?"

"What's going on?" Mal said, blinking to try and clear the sleep from his eyes.

"_We've got company. This far off the trade routes, they can only be coming for us."_

Mal was struggling to sit up. "Can you tell who it is?" he asked, pulling the mask from his face.

"Lie still," Freya implored.

Hank must have heard. _"Looks like a Beowolf. Newish."_

Mal pushed Freya's hands off him. "Armed?"

"_Yeah."_

Zoe gazed at her captain, then said, "Hank. Run."

"_Where? And how? We're already at burn."_

"Just … do what you can. How long until they get to us?"

"_Fifteen minutes. Max."_

"Better let Jayne know. We might need –"

"He already knows," River said, standing in the doorway. "We will be ready."

Zoe nodded then spoke into the com again. "See if Kaylee can get something else out of the engine, and check if there's a black rock we can hide behind. Otherwise …"

"_Yeah?"_

"Pray."

"_Roger that," _Hank said, and the com went dead.

"The cargo?" Simon asked.

Zoe shrugged. "Maybe. Pirates seem to like that class of ship. So perhaps." What she said was scrupulously true, although she still had the feeling of being watched. And for some reason Brant Fisher's face popped into her mind.

"Can we outrun them?"

"No."

Simon swallowed.

* * *

Back on the bridge Hank turned to the two children. "Honey," he said to Bethie, "take Ben and find the rest of the kids. Then –"

"Hide?" she supplied.

"Yeah. You know where." After the business with Niska, then with the New Browncoats, the crew had spent two days opening up the bulkhead in one of the passenger dorms, and creating a false wall. It was cramped behind, but it would take a lot more than a cursory examination to realise it hadn't been there since the Firefly had been built. And as nobody intended leaving their children behind, ever again, they had to have some place they knew was safe.

Bethie nodded, grabbed Ben's hand and ran off down the steps.

Hank didn't wait to see them go. He toggled the com switch, getting through to the engine room. "Kaylee, can you give me anything else?"

The young mechanic sounded breathless. _"Nope. Not really. We're down to the safeties as it is. Why?"_

"Someone's got the Jones's to make our acquaintance."

There was a pause. _"I'll see what I can do."_

"Good girl." Hank turned the com off, then stared at the screen. In all honesty, Kaylee _was_ good, but not that good. And the Beowolf was closing, awfully fast.

The com beeped. Someone was waving. Someone on that ship.

Clearing his throat, he flicked the switch. "This is the Firefly Serenity. Can I help you?" He winced, knowing he sounded nervous, and stupid.

"_Cut your engines and prepare to be boarded."_ A hard voice, brooking no objection.

"Well, you see, we can't do that," Hank said, quickly routing the signal through the shipwide com so everyone could hear. "We're in something of a hurry, so if we stop, it'll delay us. Sorry."

"_I can blow you out of the sky. Just give me an excuse."_

"Sorry, but are you sure you have the right ship?"

"_Right ship. Cut your engines."_"This is crazy," Mal said, trying to lift himself enough to get to his feet. "I have to be on the bridge."

* * *

"No, you don't." Freya was doing her best to hold him down without hurting him. "You need to be here."

"I'm captain. Someone's after us. I have to –"

"If you don't lie still I'll dope you," Simon promised, his eyes glued to the heart monitors. He wasn't liking what he was seeing.

* * *

Jayne dragged Vera down from her brackets, loading her quickly. He didn't keep the ammo near the guns anymore, not with little hands that might copy what they'd seen, but it didn't take him a moment to make her ready for action. The same with Betsey, and little Gemma, which he hid in his boot. If they were going to be boarded, they weren't going to have it easy.

* * *

"Look, I need to have some idea of what you want. Maybe you're got the wrong people. There's a Firefly I know got the name Peace of Mind. Sure it ain't that one?"

"_Not unless their first mate is Zoe Alleyne."_

There was such hatred in the voice that Hank didn't register the words at first, then he sat back in shock. "What?"

"_Cut your engines. Or else."_"Mal, please." Freya was getting angry. "Dammit, do what I say!"

* * *

He'd managed to sit up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. "Zoe, any idea?"

"No, sir. And Frey's right. You need to lie down."

He levered himself to his feet. "That's not gonna …" His eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed, the alarms immediately going off throughout the infirmary.

"Mal!" Freya was around the bed, trying to lift him, only successful when Zoe helped her.

Simon was almost a blur, his hands inserting drips, eyes running over monitors, brain running through all the possibilities. Then River was there, defib paddles in her hands. He nodded.

"Simon?" Freya asked, dreading the answer.

"His heart's stopped."


	6. Chapter 6

Freya could hear a rushing in her ears, and Simon's voice seemed to come from a long way off.

"His heart's stopped."

No. This couldn't be happening. Not this. Not now.

Everything slowed, the light photons losing their impetus, and taking an age to reach her. Simon was putting the defibrillator paddles on Mal's chest, making sure everyone was clear, then pressing the buttons.

Mal lifted from the bed slowly, as if he was about to overcome gravity and float towards the ceiling, but he fell back, bouncing a little.

"Again." The word was slurred, spread out, not seeming to come from Simon's mouth, but hanging in the air independently, each letter neon and empty smoke.

Mal jerked, reminding her inexorably of the time back with Niska, as the Quicksilver infiltrated between the molecules of his skin … Her knees threatened to buckle.

"Got it."

Sound thundered back, a wave that threatened to deafen her as the beeping of the heart monitor registered, not particularly steady, but there.

"Simon?" she managed to say, her mouth dry.

"We've got him back."

She could feel it. The words he hadn't said. "But …"

River was busy collecting equipment, laying it on one of the small steel tables, her pace measured, but fast.

"We can't wait." Simon turned to his sister. "Can you –"

"What you need. Before you ask."

"I don't have –"

"I know where they are." She ran out of the infirmary.

"What are you saying?" Zoe asked, certain she knew but nevertheless needing to hear the words.

"I have to operate. There's no choice now."

"Can't it wait? I mean, we'll be on Boros in –"

"And Mal will be dead. I'm sorry, but that's the bottom line. I can't keep doing what I just did, it will damage the cardiac muscles." Even as he spoke he'd filled a hypogun with a measured amount of anaesthetic, injecting it into Mal's neck. "He won't make it, Zoe."

She gazed at him, then nodded curtly. "What can we do?"

"Nothing. River will assist. Just try and keep whoever they are out of my hair." He picked up a pair of latex gloves. "Freya, I think you'd be better off –"

"Not going anywhere, Simon."

He looked at her, but knew he was going to be unable to make her move, not without Jayne's help and a grenade or two. "Fine. But stand over there." He indicated the corner. "I can't have you getting in the way."

Freya looked like she was about to argue, but a glance from River as she came back in had her subside. "I just … Please."

Simon nodded slowly. "I know." He looked at his sister. "Got them?"

"Yes." She held up the box of Medical Grade Stents, tubes made of perforated metal designed to hold open blocked arteries, and the very same one Jayne had found when they searched the crates.

"Good. Now help me."

* * *

Hank was talking, his brain on overdrive, trying to stall as he searched desperately for something to hide behind, someone to assist, even an Alliance patrol boat … but there was nothing. "… and I'm sure we can solve any problems you might have without resorting to violence."

The screen flared to life, and a man in his middle age, steel grey hair cur short to his scalp, appeared. _"Violence? You have no idea of the meaning of the word."_ His voice was filled with hatred, the fury barely suppressed_. "But if you hand over Zoe Alleyne. You can go on your way."_

Even Hank wasn't gullible enough to take that at face value. Still, he asked, "You promise?"

What might have been a smile distorted the face in front of him_. "Word of honour."_

"Oh, good. So … what did she do to you? This Zoe? Not that she's here, but … you know, just to satisfy my curiosity."

"_You really want to know?"_One of the things Simon had bought over the years, when he had saved enough money and could persuade Mal to stop somewhere such purchases wouldn't attract attention but were still good quality, was a small bypass machine. Knowing what the crew was like, their ability to come back from even the easiest jobs with bullets lodged inside them, he thought it was a good idea. Mal had looked at it askance, saying he thought maybe the doc was tempting fate, but for once he'd been wrong. Mostly.

* * *

There hadn't been an occasion to use it, for which Simon was grateful if oddly disappointed. Right now, though, he'd have given almost anything for it still to be sitting in the cupboard under the counter, safely wrapped in the plastic it came in.

Visually he checked the connections, the tubes running from Mal's femoral vein to the bypass unit, then back to the femoral artery. It looked ready to go.

"Does it have to be this cold?" Freya asked, her arms wrapped around her body.

Simon had turned the heating right down. "It helps," he said, preparing a hypo.

"What's that?"

He almost sighed but controlled it. "It's a cocktail of anticoagulant and Cardithisamine."

"What?"

"To stop his heart."

Freya stepped forward urgently. "But you –"

"The pump will take over." He looked at her, trying to project reassurance. "I know what I'm doing, Freya."

"But you couldn't operate on Ethan. When he had Minuet's."

"Not on a child, no. But Mal's a grown man. His heart, the valves … they're correspondingly bigger."

River turned her gaze on the other woman. "He can do this, _mu qin_."

Freya was too pre-occupied to even begin to tell her she wasn't her mother. Her eyes were on Simon as he injected the drugs, then watched the monitor. The jumping line indicating Mal's heart-beat slowed, then more, then flattened out.

"Okay." Simon held his breath and switched on the bypass machine. It clicked and whirred, then blood could be seen flowing down the saline-filled tube towards it, sucked by the negative pressure building up. As it reached the machine, there was a pause, then it continued up the second tube, back into Mal's body. "Good. Good."

"It's okay?" Freya whispered.

"It's working." Simon looked at his sister. "Ready?"

"Always." She held the scanner.

"Good." He picked up a scalpel, ready to make the tiny incision to insert the catheter. "Then ... it's time."

* * *

Hank glared at the man on the screen. "Sure I want to know. You're threatening to blow us out of the sky, so I think I have the right to know why me and my family are about to die."

"_Then cut your engines and I'll tell you. In person."_

For a moment Hank closed his eyes, then nodded slowly. "I need to speak to the captain. See what he says we should do." He could hear footsteps coming up the stairs behind him.

"_Don't take too long."_

"I won't." Hank cut the feed, turning the chair to stare at Zoe. "What the hell's going on?" he demanded, noting almost subconsciously that she'd strapped on her Mare's Leg.

She gazed at him steadily. "Would you believe me if I said I didn't know?"

"Well, yes, of course, but –"

"I don't know, Hank." She glanced at the blank vid screen. "How long until they're in range to fire at us?"

"About two minutes ago," he admitted.

"Ah. They really want me alive, then."

"Which is a good thing. Right?"

"It gives us a chance." She took a deep breath. "Where are the kids?"

"Safe. Hiding."

"Good. Try and keep us on an even keel. Simon's got Mal hooked up to a bypass machine, so any sharp movements could –"

Hank stiffened. "Wait a minute. Bypass?"

"He's operating. Mal had another attack."

"_Wuh duh muh_." He tried to suck air into lungs that didn't want to expand properly. "He's not –"

"No. But Simon's got no choice now."

"Yes. No. Sure, of course. But what about these _sha gua chun zi_?" He nodded towards the outside.

"If it comes down to it, do what they say."

Hank was out of the chair in a moment, taking her by the arms. "I'm not handing you over to them!"

"I'd rather you didn't. But there might not be another way."

"There has to be. Mal always says …" He stopped.

"Yes, he does, doesn't he?" She smiled tightly at him, then leaned forward to brush her lips across his. "Just keep us flying, _bao bei_." She extracted herself and left the bridge, adding over her shoulder, "I'm going to check on Kaylee."

"Yeah, sure, fine." He slumped back into the seat, aware that the wave notification was going off again. It looked like his time was up.

* * *

"That's it." Simon manipulated the tiny controls, sucking back the fragments of blockage into the long thin tube inserted via Mal's armpit. "Keep it exactly there."

River didn't nod, didn't say she wasn't going to move the scanner, just held it rock steady.

"Balloon's going in," Simon added, and on the screen he could see the darker mass move through the artery. "Inflating now." It grew, pushing the artery walls out so that the stent could expand, holding it open against any further damage. The balloon deflated and he drew it back, following its progress as River moved the scanner. He exhaled heavily, feeling sweat running down his face.

A hand snaked around, a swab gently pressed against his skin, taking the moisture without obscuring his vision.

"Thanks," he said, not taking his eyes from the image in front of him.

"You're welcome," Freya said quietly.

* * *

"_You are trying my patience." _The man's face was going an unbecoming red, and for a moment Hank wondered if he was about to have a heart attack too.

"Not really. I'm just –"

"_Enough."_ He signalled to someone off screen. _"Too late_," he said, satisfaction in his eyes as the screen turned black.

Hank stared at the sensors, his hands ready to jerk the yoke to one side the moment he saw the telltale signs of missiles being fired, in what he knew would be a vain attempt to get away. Nothing. Nothing. And still …

The ship seemed to shudder from stem to stern, then all the lights flickered and went out.

"Shit!" Hank muttered, trying all the possible ways he could to bring her back on line, and failing at every one. He knew as soon as he turned from the windows he'd be blind, but he had no time to waste, not even to feel the claustrophobia pressing in on him.

Gorramit, this was _his_ ship. _His_ home. He wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"Kaylee!" he yelled, heading for the engine room and praying nothing was going to be in the way as he ran through the kitchen.

A green light flickered in front of him, moving around and making shadows dance.

"EMP," she gasped, squeezed into the corner by what should have been Serenity's beating heart. "I'm trying to get the back-ups going, but I can't …" She sounded frustrated beyond measure as her pregnancy wouldn't let her far enough in.

"Let me."

"No, I –"

"Kaylee." A feeling of eerie calm settled on him. "Come out from there. Let me. The bypass machine …"

Kaylee turned a white face to him, and he could see, even in the dim light from the glowstick, tears tracking through the grease on her face. She knew, he didn't have to tell her. She nodded and pulled back. "Can't reach it," she muttered, her hand on her belly.

Hank wedged his body into the narrow space, telling himself he didn't need to breathe. And to not eat quite so much.

Kaylee, in the meantime, was staring at her workbench, feeling more than a little useless. "It might be fried," she said softly. "The back-up. Wasn't on, but if the EMP was the right frequency …" Her hands were rolling round and round each other, then her head came up. "But I got …"

Dropping inelegantly to her knees, she scrabbled under the bench, ignoring the sharp pain as she stabbed her finger on something sharp. "Yes!" Dragging out what looked like a box about six by six inches, she scrambled to her feet, activated a second light and ran from the engine room.

"That's fine," Hank called, as loudly as his squashed chest would let him. "You go. I'll be fine here." He glared at the back-up. "You're gonna work if it's the last thing I ever …"

* * *

Kaylee moved as fast as she could, for the first time wishing she wasn't pregnant, then her centre of balance would be better and she wouldn't have to be worrying about where her feet were, that they weren't about to miss the step, send her head first down the stairs, straight into … finally.

"_Ai ya_," she whispered, staggering to a stop outside the infirmary.

Simon had Mal's chest open, his hand inside, blood up to his wrist, his face sheathed in a film of sweat. "Everything's dead, Kaylee. I can't …" He squeezed.

She swallowed, desperately imploring her stomach not to revolt. Holding up the box, she said, "Just give me a sec."

In the light from the glowstick she dropped to the floor and opened up the side of the bypass machine. It was only going to be a jury fix, stripping wires so she could attach the battery she'd brought, and it probably wouldn't last long, but maybe … The last alligator clip made connection. "There!" she said, leaning back as lights flickered across the display, then a vague hum began as the drum inside started to turn.

Simon let go, not removing his hand but waiting, listening to the machine as it kept Mal alive. "How long?" he asked.

She checked the power reading on the battery. "Ten minutes? Maybe fifteen. Sorry, I couldn't think of –"

"Kaylee, you saved Mal's life. But you have to help me." He slowly took his hand away. "I couldn't do external compressions. I had to …" His voice died away.

"You did that? In the dark?" She couldn't help being impressed, and immensely proud of her husband.

"Had to." Two words, but it conveyed a whole wealth of meaning.

She nodded. "Where's River? And Frey?"

"Here." Freya carried in three of the lanterns from the cages in the cargo bay into the infirmary. "Always wondered why Mal didn't chuck these," she said, her voice oddly composed. Dragging a box of matches from her pocket, she lit the first wick. There was a faint smell of kerosene, then the glow warmed, accentuated as she lowered the chimney and started on a second.

Kaylee quickly washed her hands and struggled into a pair of gloves. "What do you need?" she asked, licking dry lips at the sight of the wound in Mal's chest.

"I was halfway through when …" He indicated the lights. "River ran off, and I don't know where she is."

"Then you tell me."

"I just need you to –"

There was a shudder through the ship, stronger than from the EMP, and a metal crunching sound from the cargo bay. Freya looked up sharply.

"Someone's locked on," she said. She fixed Simon with a stern eye. "Keep him alive," she ordered, then ran out, her footsteps pounding up the stairs.

Simon stared after her, then turned to Kaylee. "I can't use the catheter again – the scanner's dead. I'm going to have to go in directly. Pass me the autocauteriser."

She bit her lip. "I … don't know what that is."

He smiled at her, totally aware at how hard this was for her, seeing her captain, her friend, lying on the bed. "It's okay. It's the green tube with a red wire on the end."

She pounced on it. "Got it." She passed it over.

"Good. Now, hold this to one side for me …"

Kaylee swallowed hard, but put her fingers into Mal's chest.


	7. Chapter 7

In the hiding place, safe behind the false wall, Jesse whimpered. The lights had gone out, and despite the pitch black, Bethie wouldn't let them use any kind of illumination.

"Please," the little girl begged.

"Can't," Bethie whispered, reaching out and managing to take an even smaller hand in hers. "I'm scared too, but we can't let anyone know we're here."

"Bethie's right," Ethan said, equally quietly, pulling his sister to him and holding her tightly. "Close your eyes."

"Can't tell," Jesse complained. "Too dark."

"Try." He was trying to make her feel better, but with the worry she couldn't control coming in waves from his mother, he wasn't doing a very good job.

She sobbed again, her fist in her mouth to stifle the noise. "Want Mama."

"'S'okay, Jess," Ben said, Hope's fingers tangled with his. "We're here."

_So are they_, Bethie thought helplessly, and just knew Ethan had picked up the same by the way he stiffened.

* * *

Hank half fell out of the doorway onto the top catwalk, looking down as Freya walked out from the common area into the middle of the cargo bay. He leaned on the railings, his face ghoulish in the green light from a dozen glowsticks scattered around the crates and floor.

"I gather you didn't manage it?" she said, settling herself in front of the main doors.

He didn't bother to ask how she knew what he'd been trying to do. "Nope. Some of the wires are fried. Not too long a job, but I don't reckon we've got time."

"Then we'll make some."

"How?" Then a thought occurred to him, kicking him in the brain until it hurt. "Where's Zoe?" he demanded, suddenly realising Freya was alone.

"Here," his wife said, stepping out of shuttle one.

"What the hell were you …" Comprehension hit him like a speeding train. "You were going to hand yourself over," he gasped.

"It was the only way." She gazed at him, seeing the anger building inside. "To save all of you."

"You don't know what they want to do to you!"

"I can guess."

"And you were willing to …"

"For you."

He couldn't take his eyes off her, knowing she was going to sacrifice them, their lives together, for Ben and for everyone else. For once words failed him.

Freya understood. If she'd been in the same position, knowing it was her or them, or worse, her or Mal … she'd have walked into the airlock without even a backward glance.

Hank knew it too. She could see his shoulders sag, the white-knuckled grip he had on the railing ease, and his head dropped. He muttered something, inaudible to the two women, but they knew he was cursing with all the skill he had. "What is it with this crew?" he finally muttered loud enough for them to hear. "Every one of 'em has this urge to be martyrs."

Zoe wished she could comfort him, tell him that the men outside wouldn't have hurt her, but she knew it was a lie. That was why, even after the EMP pulse hit, when the controls to the shuttle died under her hands, she still tried every way she could think of to disengage the small vehicle, to try and … well, just to try. "Lucky you found us, then."

"Yeah."

There was the sound of metal on metal from the bow, and Freya drew her gun, checking it was fully loaded. "Where're River and Jayne?" she asked. She could tell the men on the other side were attempting to ratchet the outer door open so they could get into the airlock. From there …

"No idea," Hank said shortly, still more than angry with his wife.

_Keep them occupied_, River dropped into Freya's mind.

_Why? Where are you?_

_Just do it. _There was a moment's silence. Then … _Please._ There was an impression of stars.

Freya's head whipped towards the EVA suit container. It was open slightly.

"Zoe, hide," she ordered.

"No."

She turned angry eyes on her friend. "Dammit, Zoe, do what I say. Get in the hole and we'll –"

"No."

"Don't be _zhou ben_, just –"

"You're not captain."

Freya pointed towards the airlock, the grinding getting louder all the time. "That boat's armed. We've no idea how many there are on board, but I'm guessing more than a couple, otherwise they'd have blown us out of the sky without even asking permission. And I don't know what the hell Jayne and River are up to. One way or the other, it's likely we're seriously outnumbered, and –"

"So you want to lock up another gun."

Freya ignored the interruption. "– and I'm not going to just give you to them."

"Amen to that," Hank breathed. "But you can't tell how many are out there?"

"No." She closed her eyes briefly. "All I can feel is Mal. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He looked across at his wife. "And don't you even go thinking of giving yourself up again."

"They know I'm on board." It was a statement, as bald and obvious a fact as Zoe could make it.

At Freya's glance Hank held up his hands. "Not guilty," he said quickly.

"He didn't say a word," Zoe agreed. "It was Brant Fisher. You don't really think this is a coincidence, do you?"

"Of course not." Freya blew a long hard sigh from between her teeth. "Hank, get back to the engine room. If it's only a few wires, stay there until they're fixed. Even if it's only the lights. I don't like working in the dark like this."

The pilot stirred himself. "What about Kaylee?"

"She's helping Simon." She licked dry lips, wishing she could be back in the infirmary, holding Mal's hand, but knowing she had to deal with this first. "Hank. Please."

"Okay, okay. I'll see what I can do. Just … don't let her do anything stupid, will you?"

"I think that's pretty much a moot point right now, don't you?"

"I … yeah." Hank backed up and disappeared through the doorway again.

Freya watched the first mate descend the stairs. "You know this is _shang shen_, don't you?"

Zoe's lips twitched. "_Shi yu yuan wei_, eh?"

"Can't see anyone planning any gorram thing right now." Freya checked her weapon slid easily in its holster.

"You know Jayne would want to go in with grenades, don't you?"

"And River would be at his side. Mal would have a fit, though. Letting off grenades on board his boat. And I don't doubt someone would get hurt."

"Only Simon's kinda busy." Zoe took her place next to her friend. "Seems like old times, doesn't it?"

Freya nodded. "You and me against the 'verse."

"Only he was with us, wasn't he?" She lifted her chin over her shoulder.

"Yes." Pain flashed through her, beating at the blocks she'd put up to be able to function.

"He will be again."

Freya didn't answer, but straightened up as the inner doors groaned. "Here they come."

* * *

The smell of burning had turned her stomach to jelly. But that was nothing to Simon actually pushing his finger into Mal's heart through the tiny hole he'd made. "That's …"

"If you're going to throw up -"

"No. I won't. It's just …"

"Think of it like a piece of Serenity, _bao bei_," Simon said, feeling the gloved tip of his finger brush on something rough coating the underside of the valve. "Like the engine. It keeps beating, sending oxygenated blood around the body, just like the engine sends air around, make sure we keep breathing."

Kaylee nodded. "I get it. Just like the pumping system."

"Yes. And you have to clean out all the gunk, don't you? So it doesn't grind to a halt. Well, it's just like this." He slid the suction tube alongside his finger, blood seeping around the edge.

"Just pressurin' out the pipes," Kaylee agreed.

"Exactly." He pressed the switch and there was a sucking sound. As fragments of something hit the inside of the tube Kaylee wondered if she had lied when she said she wasn't going to be revisiting her last meal.

* * *

Freya knew they could kill them off as they came in. With the best will in the world, they couldn't open the inner doors fast enough to let more than one or two through at a time, and they'd be easy pickings. Except all those still inside had to do was disengage their ship, and explosive decompression would do the rest. Even if they were lucky enough to escape that, the Beowulf could blow them apart with only one or two well-placed missiles.

The men behind the doors had the same idea. As the gap widened, someone tossed something inside, the metal object bouncing once and coming to rest at their feet.

"Remote gas grenade," a voice filtered through. "You try anything, you'll be unconscious in moments."

"You're the aggressors," Freya said, barely able to stop herself grinding her teeth. "Looks like you've got the upper hand."

"That we do."

The doors opened a few inches more, and a man appeared, the same one who had been talking to Hank on the vid. He stepped through, half a dozen men following. "My name is Paul Boone. Which one of you is Zoe Alleyne?"

"No-one on board by that name," Freya asserted, adding, "What the hell do you think you're doing, forcing your way onto my ship?"

His eyes narrowed. "_Your_ ship? I don't think so. My sources tell me the captain of this vessel is Malcolm Reynolds. And you are most patently not him." Boone turned to his men. "Search the ship. Bring anyone you find to me. There's going to be more."

"And if they don't want to come?" one of the others asked, his eyes dead, his finger very close to the trigger of his rifle.

"Then you make -" He stopped, and his jaw tightened. He could feel the gun barrel pressed into the back of his neck, grinding slightly on the bones of his spine.

"I am this close to letting it out." Freya didn't speak loudly, but her words filled the cargo bay.

"Letting what out?" Boone didn't move, but he didn't seem overly concerned either.

"The darkness."

Zoe held her breath. She knew what Freya was talking about, the shadow that lived within her, courtesy of the Academy. She believed only her mentor, and the tattoo he'd given her, stopped her from killing them all in their sleep, no matter how often Mal had told her otherwise.

"You are one crazy woman," Boone said, not showing any emotion. "You shoot me, you'll be dead before you hit the floor."

"So will you. A bullet in the brain does that. Some might say that would be a fair exchange."

"Freya." Zoe's voice cut across them. "Don't."

"He's threatening us."

"And he means it." She'd heard the distinctive sound of weapons being cocked, and without River or Jayne, no matter how fast Freya was, there was no way they'd survive. "Mal needs you."

Freya glanced at her. "Low," she murmured.

"But necessary."

For a long and tense moment nobody moved, then Freya let her arm drop, the red mark from her muzzle on Boone's neck looking livid. He turned, looked her straight in the eye, and took the gun from her fingers. "Kelly," he called, tossing the weapon to one of his men. Then, in the same movement, he backhanded Freya across the cheek, the impact causing her to stagger.

She straightened up, ignoring the slight trickle of blood slipping from her lip. "_Hwoon dahn_."

"You have no idea." He lifted his head slightly. "Search this ship."

His men split up, two going up the stairs towards the upper level, two through the doorway to the common area. The other pair backed up their boss.

Boone hadn't taken his eyes off Freya for a second. "I take it you're Mrs Reynolds."

"I am."

"And that makes her Zoe Alleyne."

The two men with him hurried past, one of them sliding the Mare's Leg from its holster on the dark woman's leg, keeping their own guns trained on her all the time.

Freya shook her head. "No, I told you -"

"Spare me. I paid good money for the right information. So tell me, or I'll be forced to confirm it some other way." He raised his hand again.

"You're right." Zoe stepped forward. "I'm Zoe Alleyne. Well, I was."

Boone looked her up and down, and something in his gaze made her skin crawl. "Yeah, they told me you'd found yourself some idiot to marry. A pilot or some such."

"Or some such."

He sneered at her. "He'd have to be stupid to marry a woman like you."

Zoe's face remained implacable, but there was just the hint of the skin tightening around her eyes. "You think?"

"For sure. Considering what you did."

"To you? I don't even know you."

"No. Not to me. But to mine, and the families of every single man on board my ship." He pointed through the airlock. "Women, children, old folks … they were all fodder for you, weren't they?"

A feeling of ice slipping down her spine, of memories long buried but now surfacing, giving off the faint smell of putrefaction. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"No?" He moved so close they were face to face, barely breathing room between them since they were much of a height. "Then let me refresh your memory. A little moon, not much to look at, at least from space, but our home. A'course, someone had a sense of humour when they named it, but we liked it. Sweetwater."

"My God …" Zoe felt her own heart skip a beat.

Boone smiled, glacier cold. "Ah. I see you remember."

"Zo?" Freya wasn't accusing, just questioning.

Boone stepped away, moving to sit on one of the crates. "I see you haven't told your friends about it."

"It was a long time ago." Zoe consciously smoothed out her breathing.

"Not for us. For us, it's like yesterday. Coming in from the factories, finding them like that …"

"Get your hands off me!" Hank appeared at the top doorway, manhandled through.

"He was in the engine room, Boone," one of the men said.

"Bring him down here."

Hank pulled himself free. "I can walk by myself." He hurried down the stairs, going towards Zoe until he saw the look on her face. "Honey, you okay?"

"Ah, the husband." Boone clapped his hands together. "I take it he doesn't know either."

"Doesn't know? Doesn't know what?" Hank looked from one to the other.

"Just what your wife used to get up to."

"I don't need to know."

"Really. About her history as a Dust Devil."

Hank's jaw dropped as Zoe said, "It never came up."

Boone laughed. "I'd say it has now."

"You're lying." Hank shook his head, then looked at Zoe. "Tell him he's got it wrong." When she didn't respond, he insisted, "Tell him!"

"I can't."

He felt his knees start to buckle. "Zoe …"

"How touching." Boone twitched a data chip from his breast pocket, placing it carefully on the crate next to him. "Watch that," he advised. "It will show you. In all its gore."

"Zoe?" Hank had gone pale.

She wouldn't look at him, her gaze on Boone. "You were building skiffs. For the Alliance."

"So were a lot of other factories. And our families weren't part of it."

"Our information told us -"

Boone was immediately on his feet. "The war was over!"

"Not for us."

Hank stared at Zoe, then at Freya. The look on her face made him swallow hard. "You knew about this," he said, his voice hoarse.

"She didn't know anything," Zoe said quickly, seeing Boone's hand move towards the gun on his hip.

The other two men hurried in from the common area, coming to something of a confused halt. "Boone?" one of them asked.

"Did you find anyone else?"

"Yeah, but –"

"Why didn't you bring them here, Kelly?" Boone let his anger out at the other man.

"Well, the feller's up to his elbows in some guy's chest, and the girl with him refused to leave."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Kelly shrugged. "A doctor or medic, or something. He's operating, and ... Boone, you should've seen what –"

"Fine." Boone turned back, ignoring him. His gaze fixed on Zoe again. "So, here we are."

"Yes."

"You're the last."

Zoe wished it hadn't, but something was tickling her memory from a few months back, a rumour from a friend of a friend. "You killed MacLean. And his wife."

Boone shrugged. "He wouldn't talk."

"She wasn't a Dust Devil! He only met her a few years ago, and from what I heard someone tortured her!"

The man at Boone's side stirred uncomfortably. "Yes. That was ... that was bad. I'm sorry –"

"It was necessary," Boone interrupted. "He wouldn't tell me where you were."

"He didn't know," Zoe ground out.

"So I discovered. But he did give me your name." He waved his hand dismissively. "Anyway, what about _our_ wives? _Our_ families? You slaughtered them!"

"We were told they were collaborators."

"And, how, exactly, did that work? You think we offered our services to the Alliance? You think we had a choice?"

"I'm sorry. It isn't enough, but for what it's worth, I'm truly sorry."

"You know, it's not worth a damn thing." He drew his gun.

Zoe tensed. "Then let them go." She nodded towards Hank and Freya. "They don't know anything. Let them go and I'll come with you. You can do what you want with me. But my family goes free."

"Your family? You think?" Boone grinned, and the madness that had been inflicted on him shone through. He pointed at Freya. "And she's not even surprised."

"I'm not." Freya spoke quietly. "But it was a long time ago."

"Not when I wake up every morning to hear my daughter calling out for her daddy. And if you know what this _hu li jing_ was, and did nothing, then you're as responsible as she is." He aimed at Freya but looked at and spoke to Zoe. "Let's see how you like watching her die in front of you."

A shot rang through the superstructure.


	8. Chapter 8

Boone aimed at Freya but looked at and spoke to Zoe. "Let's see how you like watching her die in front of you."

A shot rang through the superstructure.

* * *

_A little while earlier …_

Immediately the EMP pulse hit River knew what was going to happen, as clearly as if she was remembering the future. Even in the pitch black she could feel the shape of Serenity, and it was only the work of a moment to run through the infirmary doors into the common area then up into the cargo bay. Jayne's aura gave him away, standing facing the doors.

_Jayne_.

"They're coming," he said, not turning.

"I know."

He looked down at Vera in his hands, even though he couldn't see her. "Can we fight 'em off?"

"Not like that."

"Then what?" He felt a hand on his arm, directing him to one side even as there was the sound of someone else coming into the bay.

Freya swore as her shin connected with something in the dark, but she located the cages quickly enough.

Jayne opened his mouth to speak, but River's hand tightened.

_We gonna be doing something the cap wouldn't approve of?_ he thought carefully.

_Definitely._

He grinned in the darkness. _Good._

Freya hurried back to the infirmary, lanterns in her hands.

"Help me," River whispered.

"Moonbrain, I can't see a gorram thing. Just 'cause you ate your carrots like a good girl when you was a kid –" He stopped as there was the sound of something cracking, and a green glow developed in his wife's hands. "That's my crazy River," he muttered, seeing the light reflect from her teeth as she smiled at his endearment.

"Here. We will need more." She handed him another half a dozen, and they quickly activated them, spreading them around the cargo bay.

"Now what?" he asked.

She lifted the lid of the EVA suit locker. "Help me," she repeated.

It didn't take long to dress in the suits, but something was troubling Jayne. "You sure your bro don't need you?"

"Kaylee is with him. Quickly, they're – " There was a metallic clang and the ship shuddered.

"Locked on," Jayne said.

River nodded, then ran, as much as she could in an almost complete EVA suit, up the stairs towards the top emergency hatch.

He followed, his longer stride keeping up with her. "But Mal –"

"Simon will save him, Jayne." She handed him her helmet.

"You sure about that?"

"I am." She smiled sweetly as he lowered the helmet, fastening it swiftly. _Have I ever lied to you?_ he heard in his mind.

_Nope. Don't reckon you ever have. Maybe bent the truth a bit._ He dropped his own helmet onto his shoulders, feeling her pulling the connection behind him.

_That's not the same. That's … a kindness._

_Are you doing it now?_

_No._

_You sure about that?_

_My Jayne._ There was a flavour of admonishment in the mental tone, and he had to grin.

_Time to get this done._ He started up the ladder to the topside hatch.

Outside, in the quiet of just the starlight, he could almost believe he could feel the icy cold of space eating through his suit. He knew it was an illusion, as he was nicely warm, but that didn't help. He turned towards the bow, where the familiar lines of Serenity were interrupted by what could have been an enormous growth, but was the predatory ship, locked on. He felt an irrational annoyance at his home being desecrated like this.

_How long 'fore they get in?_ he asked, not wanting to use the com in case they were picked up.

_We can't sniff the daisies._

_What?_

_Don't dally._ She was off already, her magboots sticking to the hull as she made her way along the Firefly's neck.

He gripped Vera tighter than ever, and followed his wife.

As they approached the junction of the two ships, she paused, her body tense.

_What is it?_

_Freya._

He couldn't hear, but he knew she was talking to her surrogate Ma. _She okay?_

_She will keep them occupied._

_God help 'em, then._

After what seemed like an age but also no time at all they were at the Beowolf's emergency escape hatch, and River was quickly punching numbers.

_Riv?_

_Just one second more …_ There was a faint puff of silent air, and the hatch swung climbed down into the airlock, no time to wonder if there was a reception party waiting at the bottom. _How many inside?_

_Three. One on the bridge, two in the bay._ She joined him, closing them in, then activated the system. Suddenly there was air pressure against the fabric of their suits and the interior door opened on well-oiled hinges.

_I'll take the two in the bay_, he began, but she'd already moved away from him down the stairs. He sighed. Even when he wanted to be all manly and take the majority, she wouldn't let him. _Don't need you to be manly,_ he heard. _Just be you._

_That __**is**__ me. _He shook his head at her, and tried to remember the one and only time he'd been on a Beowolf. He'd been robbing that particular boat, and the folks he was robbing from weren't being very co-operative, but he thought he knew the way to the front end. Yeah, that'd be it. He started forward.

As River predicted, there was one man inside, sitting in the pilot's chair. Or rather, half out of the seat as he craned his neck, trying to see somewhat futilely through the thick hull plating to what was going on aboard Serenity.

For a moment Jayne contemplated shooting him, but instead he just stepped forward and brought Vera's grip down onto the back of his head. The man fell without even knowing he'd been hit.

Jayne allowed a small, feral grin to adorn his face, and hurried towards the bay. As he approached he slowed slightly, not wanting his lunatic assassin of a wife to mistake him for one of the bad guys and shoot him, but as he reached the door he heard, muffled but carrying quite clearly through the helmet, the sound of a gunshot very close by.

"River!" he yelled, not caring if anyone else heard or not.

* * *

Boone jerked his head around at the sound of the gunshot echoing from inside his ship, giving Freya the opportunity to duck under his gun and grab his wrist, her fingers digging into the nerves. He yelped and let go, dropping the pistol into her waiting hand. The yelp turning into a yell of anger and frustration, he grabbed for her, but she was too fast for him. She slammed the gun into his face, breaking his nose and cutting deeply into his forehead. Blood ran down into his mouth as he staggered under the blow before she kicked him behind the leg and forced him to his knees. He looked up to stare into the barrel.

Zoe used the diversion to punch one of the other men in the gut, pulling his rifle from his grasp and in the same movement using it to catch him under the chin, flipping him onto his back so he rolled on the floor, gasping like a fish and holding his belly. She twisted and fired, the round catching another in the shoulder so he went down screaming.

Hank elbowed Kelly as hard as he could, ignoring the sudden shooting pain up his arm and dropping down to avoid a fist flung in his direction.

The others, in shock at what was happening, were slower to react, but they were turning their guns on the two women when there was what sounded like a small explosion, and a bullet ricocheted into the shadows.

Two monsters, lit green and ghastly, stood in the open doorway, one of them holding a cannon. It sighted on another man and the sound of the weapon cocking again was very loud …

"Stop right there!" the man who had been at Boone's shoulder shouted, swinging his rifle around and aiming at the people in EVA suits. "Right now!"

There was a moment when things could have gone either way, then the smaller of the two slowly lifted a hand, releasing the clamps on the suit's helmet and lifting it away. She shook out her long dark hair.

There was a collective gasp from the men watching, and even Boone couldn't take his eyes off her, particularly when she spoke. "We can kill you all, and not break sweat."

"Take them," Boone ground out, spitting blood which blackly flecked the metal floor. "Take them out, Ryder, and the consequences be damned."

The man with the rifle swallowed, his Adam's apple moving prominently. Then he lowered his gun. "No. It's over."

Boone almost howled in desperation. "No!"

"Put them down," Ryder ordered.

The others glanced at each other, then at the huge man still holding the big gun, then each lowered their weapons. Hank quickly scooped one from unresisting fingers and stood back a little, but his eyes kept creeping towards Zoe.

"Bastards," Boone muttered, sitting back onto his heels.

Handing Vera to River, the Callaghan somehow managing to look at home in her small hands, Jayne took off his own helmet. The intimidating effect wasn't diminished.

"Who fired?" Zoe asked.

"First time, me," River admitted. "I knew what he was going to do." She looked down at Boone on the deck. "I couldn't let him shoot _gan niang. _Had to distract."

"And I'm grateful," Freya put in quietly.

"Second time was me," Jayne added. "Think Mal's gonna space me for scratching up his boat?"

"Probably." But Zoe nodded her thanks.

"So no-one's dead over there?" Ryder asked.

"No." River shrugged, quite an impressive manoeuvre in a bulky space suit. "Not particularly conscious, but alive."

He nodded. "Good."

Boone stirred. "Always were squeamish, weren't you, Ryder?" he sneered, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand.

Ryder looked startled. "They killed my family too. But all this … Paul, we could have followed them to Priam. Taken her then, and no-one else would have been hurt."

Boone looked at him pityingly. "No stomach left for this?"

"Maybe I don't. And neither should you, not after all this time. All these years …"

"You think we wasted it?"

"No." An expression of pure misery washed over his face, gone as quickly as it arrived. "Maybe. We killed so many, Paul."

"They deserved it!"

"And the families? Wives, husbands … did they deserve it?"

"Yes." Tears began sliding unbidden down Boone's cheeks, and blood mixed with the salt water to drip onto his shirt. "Because it'll never be over. What they did, they destroyed everything that was good in my life. They can't get away with it," he added bitterly.

"We didn't." Zoe hadn't moved, but there was infinite sadness n her eyes. "I walked away that night, because of what happened. So did others, like MacLean. I saw what we'd become, what I was in danger of being, and it terrified me. The war truly ended in that town for us." She paused. "And I still get the nightmares."

"It's not enough." Stubbornness warred with grief in Boone's whole demeanour.

"I know."

"We took it too far," Ryder added, his shoulders slumped.

"You became that which you hated," Freya said quietly.

Boone lurched to his feet, even as Ryder nodded. "How dare you! The Dust Devils took it all!"

Freya's mind skittered to the man lying in the infirmary, knowing what would probably have happened to him if not for River and Jayne, and her voice hardened. "And how many have _you_ killed in revenge?"

He glared at her. "Justice. It was justice."

"Revenge. Justice would have been handing them over to the Alliance. How many innocent lives had to end for you to be satisfied?"

He glared at her. "Just one more." He dived for the Mare's Leg lying forgotten on a crate, spinning on his heel towards Zoe as he grabbed the gun …

The third and final shot seemed loud, louder than it had any right to be, and Boone's eyes widened in surprise. Then his body went slack and he fell against one of the cages, catching in the netting and only slowly sliding to the deck, already devoid of life.

Ryder lowered the smoking rifle. "It's over, Paul," he whispered. Dropping to his knees next to the fallen man, he lifted Boone's head into his lap, heedless of the fluids that immediately began soaking into his pants. "It's finally over."

Zoe exhaled slowly, untensing her finger from the trigger. "We have a doctor. He might be a little busy at the moment, but if you can wait, he'll see to your men."

"That would be kind." Ryder didn't look up, just stroked Boone's hair from his face, so much more relaxed now in death than it had been for years.

Freya licked dry lips. "Zoe, do you have this?"

Serenity's first mate nodded. "Go."

* * *

"It's all quiet," Kaylee whispered, staring at Simon as he continued to work.

"I know."

"Do you think –"

"Best not to, _bao bei_."

"No. I guess not." She watched as he wielded the tiny needle. "But maybe I should get your gun, or something."

"That won't be necessary." Freya stood in the doorway, staring at her husband. "Simon, is he …"

The young man looked up, seeing the worry in her face she hadn't dared show to the others, and he smiled slightly. "He came through it well. Surprisingly good, in fact, given the circumstances."

"But he's …" She nodded towards the gaping wound still in Mal's chest.

"I've done the internal sutures. All I have to do now is close up."

The regular hum of the small bypass machine stuttered, then slowed.

"That's it," Kaylee said, staring at Simon. "Battery's dying."

"Then it's a good job I can restart his heart." Picking up the small cardiac infusers, he placed them inside Mal's chest. "Clear." There was barely a jolt, but as Simon studied the monitors he appeared satisfied. "Good. Good."

"Simon …" Freya was holding her breath.

"I can take him off bypass now," Simon said, doing exactly that. "His heart is beating normally."

"Even though he's …" She couldn't say it.

"Frey, this is the easy part. You can assist if you like. I think Kaylee needs a break." He busied himself getting a larger needle and more thread.

The young mechanic nodded. "Gotta get my girl back up and running." She stopped. "That is, if we ain't likely to be blown up."

"Not today." Freya closed her eyes, letting her head drop onto her chest for a moment before taking a deep breath. She had obviously centred herself, because when she looked up it was the cool, confident woman they all knew back in control. "Simon, the crew of the Beowolf could do with some doctoring as well, once you're done in here."

"Are they bad?"

"A shoulder wound and a few minor concussions, I should imagine."

"And ours?"

"Not even a scratch."

"That must be a first."

"I think it must."

"Then you help me here, Kaylee can go and see to her engine, and I'll deal with the others shortly." He showed her where to put her hands to draw the edges of the wound together. "Just don't move."

"I won't." Freya glanced quickly towards where Kaylee was backing up towards the door. "Oh, and would you get the children out of their hiding place?"

Kaylee's hand flew to her mouth. "The kids … I'd forgotten!" It was almost comical the way she span so fast on her heel that she was almost in orbit, then ran out of the infirmary towards the crew quarters.

* * *

River was satisfied that Ryder and his men were no longer a threat, and as she helped her brother do minor surgery and patching up she mentally soothed where she could.

As Simon finished with the last, Zoe beckoned her to one side.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

River nodded. "Boone was the driving force. With him gone, the others will drift apart."

"Can we do anything for 'em?"

The young psychic was surprised. "You want to help them?"

"It wasn't their fault." Zoe tightened her lips. "Just feel like maybe we should if we can."

Expanding her consciousness for a moment, River spoke slowly. "They have no rudder any more. Nothing to drive them. They may go home, or crawl inside a bottle, I can't tell. But they wouldn't take anything from you."

"No. I figure you're right on that score." Zoe scanned the Beowolf's crew sitting scattered through the cargo bay under the watchful eyes of Jayne and Vera. "So the best thing we can do is let 'em go."

"The only thing."

"I wish …" She bit the words off.

"I know."

"And Boone?"

"They'll bury him on Priam. No home to take him back to."

"No." She glanced towards the hideaway. "Better make sure they take the goods with 'em, then."

"Ryder didn't like to suggest it."

"I don't think Mal's gonna worry himself overly about not getting the other half of our wage."

"No."

There was a silence, then Zoe asked, "Is he gonna be okay?"

"If Freya sitting next to him all the time until he wakes up is any indication, then yes."

Her lips twitched. "I doubt she's going to let him do anything for the foreseeable future, do you?"

"Not a thing."

There was another pause. "Is it likely to happen again?" Zoe asked, her mind only seeing her captain, her best friend. "Will he have another attack?"

River shook her head. "I don't think so. Simon cleaned the accretions off the valve, and reinflated the damaged artery. What happened was because of the Quicksilver, not any of the usual causes like diet, smoking, lack of exercise."

From his standpoint a few feet away, Jayne chuckled. "Figure he won't be getting that kind of exercise for a while there."

At River's piercing look he subsided, but couldn't stop the grin.

* * *

Up in the engine room a similar conversation was going on between Kaylee and Hank.

"You sure he's gonna be okay?" she asked, her hands deep in Serenity's guts.

"Simon's sure. It'll just take a while for him to be back on his feet." He smiled. "You know 'fore he's doing anything more strenuous than reading."

"But he's going to be all right. Right?" Kaylee almost begged.

"Yes. He'll be all right. If Simon wasn't sure you know full well he'd insist we carried on to Greenleaf. But you heard him, Mal's responding well, his heart's beating strongly, and … besides, he's stubborn. He won't let a little thing like this stop him."

"Little?" Kaylee shook her head. "I'd call that more than little." She couldn't help the shudder that ran through her. No matter that she was proud as a peach of her man, she never wanted to have her hands inside someone again. She'd rather clean out the septic vat buck naked than do that again.

"You know he's gonna be fine."

"I know." She twisted something and there was a groaning noise.

"Wait, is that …"

"Hang on." With her foot she pushed on a lever, and the lights flickered on as Serenity's own heart began to beat again. Kaylee stood up and patted the engine housing. "That's my girl."

"Fixed?"

"Jury-rigged. I gotta get someplace where we can put down and I can do a big overhaul. Not sure I got the parts, but I can probably make do with what I have, long as we can get to a yard before too long."

Hank grinned and pulled her into a hug. "How about Lazarus?" he asked.

She stared at him. "You mean …"

"You think Inara's gonna put up with just a wave about this? She'll need to see Mal to make sure he's okay, not just hear about it."

She snuggled closer, enjoying the contact with her friend. "Zoe said it's okay?"

Hank's face clouded a little, but Kaylee couldn't see. "Her idea."

"That's shiny. So long as Mal don't come over all captain and say no."

"Yeah." He managed to smile again. "Long as he doesn't do that."

* * *

Freya rotated her shoulders and wondered idly whether she could justify getting a painkiller out of the cupboard. Sitting for hours on a stool wasn't exactly pleasant, but she wasn't going anywhere.

She'd heard the Beowolf disengage shortly after Kaylee had worked her miracle and got their engine back on line, not needing to piggyback off their air purifiers any longer. Not that they wanted to stay. Now that Boone was dead, there was a lot of mixed feelings running through those men, and not a little embarrassment. Although that was probably the last thing she'd be feeling, if she'd done what they had.

Simon had finally been persuaded to take a nap, but it was on the old couch out in the common area, and that was only because she'd finally threatened him with Jayne. But she wasn't going anywhere. Not until Mal woke up.

"Daddy?"

Freya lifted her head to see Ethan and Jesse in the doorway. "Hey, why aren't you two with Bethie?"

"We wanted to see Daddy," the little boy insisted, holding tight to his sister's hand.

"Is Daddy asleep?" Jesse asked, chewing a strand of her long brown hair abstractedly.

"Yes," Freya said. "He's only asleep." She held out her arms and Jesse ran to her, allowing herself to be picked up and settled onto her mother's lap.

Ethan pulled another stool across the floor, the feet squealing, then climbed up so he could see better. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Well, I was," Mal muttered. "'Til you started making all that noise."

"Mal?" Freya leaned forward, her own breath catching.

His blue eyes fluttered open. "Gorramit, what fell on me?"

"You really want me to answer that? And lay still," she added quickly as he tried to look down at his chest. "Or I'll have to restrain you."

"Promises. You make all these promises, but you don't keep 'em." He smiled, and her heart melted all over again.

"Not here. And not now."

"Long as I got your word for some time, some place."

"You do."

"Good."

"Daddy?" Jesse said, her little hand resting on his arm.

"Hey, sweetheart. You all right?"

"Shiny." She blew him a kiss.

"That's just what I needed."

"Love you."

"Love you too, JJ." He shifted slightly on the medbed, then groaned, his forehead furrowing.

"Daddy?"

"Mal?" Freya couldn't breathe.

"It's all right," Simon said, stepping back into the infirmary and running his hands through his hair. "I've got something ready." With the minimum of movement he injected a hypo into the drip running into Mal's arm. "And you need to sleep."

"I been asleep." He could feel the narcotic working its way up his veins. "Can't I wake up now?"

"Soon. Just rest for a while longer."

"Gorramit, doc, can't I be captain on my own boat?" he managed to get out, but his eyelids were growing heavy again.

"Not in here. In here, I am king." Simon smiled.

As he drifted into the soft and welcoming darkness, Mal felt a small hand on his chest, just faintly tracing a line down between his pecs, and he heard Ethan, as if from a long way off.

"Like me now, Momma," his son said. "Like me."

His last conscious thought, before sleep claimed him, was _Thank you, God, for my family._


	9. Chapter 9

Kaylee rolled out from under the co-pilot's console on her wheeled tray, and grinned up at Hank before finishing her sentence. "… and Inara's asked Mr Boden to get in a whole load of supplies."

Hank chuckled. "Good. I'm feeling hungry again."

She smacked him lightly on the foot with her socket wrench. "Ain't just for you. 'Sides, 'Nara also said that she'd be more'n annoyed if Mal decided not to come. She's looking forward to a party."

"And finding out exactly how Mal is, and telling him off, no doubt."

"Got that right."

"Although I can't see the captain getting up and dancing quite yet."

"Well, no. But she said it's warm, so maybe we can have a picnic or two. All of us. Could swim as well …" Her face took on a wistful expression.

Hank shook his head. "Too cold for me."

She grinned. "Coward."

"Absolutely. That's me. One hundred percent, paid up member of the Coward's Fraternity. And proud of it. In line to be chairman before long."

She laughed and rolled back under the console. There was a few moments of silence while she changed one of the damaged boards for a newer one, then she said, slowly and somewhat diffidently, "So … you gonna have a chat with Sam?"

Hank was surprised. So far no-one had talked to him about Zoe's involvement with the Dust Devils. But trust it to be Kaylee to break the ice. "Not sure," he admitted. "Zoe and me … we're okay, so maybe I shouldn't make something out of nothing."

The old board was tossed out. "Hank, you ain't hardly said more'n a dozen words to her. And I know for a fact you won't be alone in the same room with her. I've been watching."

"We sleep together," Hank protested.

"Sleep, yeah." She poked him in the shin with something sharp. "But I don't think you've been getting squishy."

He leaned down to rub the sore spot. "Well, maybe not. But I've been tired."

"Hmmn."

The silence lengthened, and he felt the need to fill it. "It's just … hard."

Kaylee rolled out again, sitting up this time and leaning on the console. "Zoe's still Zoe," she said, seeing Hank's troubled face.

"I know. And I know she's the way she is because of what she went through, and I love the way she is. It's just …"

She took his hand, squeezed it. "It's a shock."

"Yeah."

"If it helps, think of what she did as being another life. Or maybe she went a bit crazy."

"That I can believe."

Kaylee's lips twitched. "Only not where she can hear you."

He didn't comment. "It's just …" he finally got out. "She never told me. All these secrets."

"No more'n the rest of us."

He jerked slightly. "Kaylee, you haven't wiped out an entire town."

"No. But I made a stupid promise to someone to marry them, even though I didn't love them. And worse, I let it stop me marrying the man I _did_ love." She sighed. "There ain't a one of us on board without secrets. Some a lot worse than others. But those secrets aren't who they are now. Might be because of 'em, might be in spite of, but they're the people we care for now. No matter what."

He stared at her, then his gaze softened. "How come you're so wise, little Kaylee?" he asked, his voice low.

She shrugged. "Seen a lot. Lost people I care about, and wished I'd said. And I hate seeing people holding pain that don't have to."

"You mean me."

"All of us." She held out both hands. "Now, you'd better help me up, since I gotta get to the kitchen, check on the stew." Kaylee sighed theatrically. "No rest for the wicked."

"Just say your morning sickness has come back," Hank suggested, pulling her to her feet.

"Nope. Not even gonna tempt fate by thinking it." She strolled out, her hands resting lightly on her burgeoning belly.

* * *

"Are you awake, sir?" Zoe asked quietly, leaning in the doorway to the infirmary.

Mal opened his eyes. "Pretty much. Bored outta my skull, but that's about par for the course. You'd better come in and stop me doing something stupid." It was barely two days since the operation that had saved his life, but already Mal was feeling better than he had for a couple of weeks. Well, maybe not quite that good, but anything was better than dead.

His first mate stepped inside, a smile on her dark face. "Something stupid. Can't say I've ever seen you do that, sir."

"Can't or won't?"

"I like my job."

Mal nodded. "Good."

Lifting the stool closer to the medbed, Zoe sat down, asking, "Where's Frey?"

"Sleeping, I hope."

"I doubt that."

"Me too. So she's probably around somewhere, keeping an eye on me." He gazed up into the infirmary roof. "Thinks I can't be trusted to be on my own."

"Evidence would suggest she's right."

"Permaybehaps. But I ain't gonna admit it." He turned his head enough to look at her. "We never really talked about it, did we?"

They both knew what he was referring to.

"No, sir."

"Do you want to?"

"Not … really."

"I could order you to. I am captain, you know."

"Mal … it's a part of my life that's over. It's not me anymore."

"Yeah." He couldn't help the half smile. "That's what I told myself when I bought this ship and called it Serenity."

"And now you've got a wife and two children. I think the name's more appropriate now than at any point previously."

"Perhaps. But you're trying to change the subject."

"I was a Dust Devil. You know that. You know what they … _we_ got up to. I don't have to spell it out."

"Nope. But I always wondered why you took up that particular calling."

Zoe didn't answer, but it wasn't that she was being obstinate, just that she was marshalling her thoughts. Eventually she said, "I've always been kinda surprised you didn't."

"We lost."

"But you fought to the end."

"And we still lost."

"Maybe it just took me a bit longer to figure that out, sir."

"We back to 'sir' again?"

"Are you dying?"

With a great display of nonchalance, he checked his pulse. "Not this second, no."

"Then 'sir' it remains."

"Unless you forget yourself."

"Unless I forget myself."

He smiled, his blue eyes warm. "Think I can live with that. Can Hank?"

Zoe's face clouded. "I don't know. We haven't really talked about it."

"Perhaps you should."

"I didn't want to make it worse."

"Maybe you've fallen off that pedestal he always put you on, but that's about it. You're still his wife."

"I wouldn't want to be anything else."

"Then tell him. Gorramit, it took you long enough to say I do, even when I was pushing you."

She laughed a little, a welcome sound. "You tried that with Wash, too, only the other way around."

"Hell, Zo, I ain't never thought any man was good enough for you."

"I think it's pretty much the other way around, Mal." She put her hand on his arm.

Mal's eyes widened outrageously. "Wait. You called me 'Mal'. Am I dying?"

Simon leaned in the infirmary doorway, obviously having been eavesdropping for some time from the look on his face. "No, you're not." He turned to Zoe. "But he does have to rest."

"I think I've rested enough for a decade, doc," Mal pointed out.

"Then make it two and I'll be satisfied."

Zoe stood up. "I have captainy things I need to do anyway."

"Hey, that's my line!" Mal objected.

"And when you're back on your feet, you can have it back." She smiled. "Just … get well."

"I ain't intending to do anything else."

"Good." She rested her hand on his shoulder a moment, then walked out of the door.

Simon checked the various sensors planted across Mal's chest, the incision under the dressing, then the wall monitors.

"So, Doc … were you right? Am I gonna live?" Mal's lips were twitching.

"I would say so."

"Good." He laid back and closed his eyes, pondering the nature of the 'verse. "You watching me?" he asked, still not looking.

Simon crossed his arms. "Perhaps I'm wondering how a man so intelligent manages to end up in my infirmary so often."

"Aw, you say the nicest things." Mal opened his baby blues and glared at the young man, but with no real animosity. "And this time it wasn't exactly my choice."

"No, and yet here you are."

"Must be your outstanding bedside manner."

"I thought we agreed you didn't think much of it."

"I'm changing my mind."

"You have had an inordinate amount of experience of it."

Mal raised his eyebrows. "You trying to out-snark me?"

"It must be the company I keep."

"Must be." He paused. "So am I gonna survive this?"

"It appears so." Simon quickly scanned the monitors once more. "The incision is healing well, your blood pressure is normal, and everything else looks good. I've got you on diuretics to take some of the strain off your heart while it returns –"

"You mean that's why I'm peeing more than Kaylee?"

"That's why you have the catheter."

"And that's coming out."

"Mal –"

"It's undignified."

"It's necessary."

"It's unnerving."

"It's staying." Simon pulled up the stool and sat down, rubbing a hand across his eyes.

"We keeping you busy, doc?"

"Somewhat."

Mal had to smile at the dry tone. "Well, can't have you lollygagging around with nothing to do."

"I'll have to try that one day. Although I'm not quite sure how you lollygag."

"To be honest, I ain't got that much of an idea myself." Mal glanced down towards his hips. "Now, about that catheter …"

"It's staying, at least for the next day or so." Simon shook his head at the disgusted look on his captain's face. "Mal, the reason you had back ache so badly was because of the extra strain being put on your kidneys. Apart from anything else, this is giving them the chance to recover."

For a moment Mal held his breath. "They are gonna recover, ain't they? I mean, I doubt there's anyone on board this boat'd offer to be a donor to me."

"They'd be queuing up, and you know it."

"Always figured good sense was in short supply on Serenity."

"Oh, I won't disagree with you on that one, but yes, your kidneys are fine. And I'll be keeping an eye on you anyway." _Better than I did after that damn Quicksilver, that's for sure._

It was as if Mal could read his mind. "That wasn't your fault, Simon. You said yourself, I'm an ornery patient, and if I didn't come to see you when all this started, then that's my own nevermind."

"I don't think I used the word 'ornery'. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've never used that word in my life."

"Until now."

"Until now." Simon smiled, and for a moment the tiredness left his face. "But the catheter stays."

"Fine." Mal fidgeted slightly. "Just telling you it ain't comfortable."

"It's not supposed to be."

"You're a sadist, you know that."

"First in my class."

"That's not something to be proud of, you know," Mal pointed out.

"Oh, but I am." Simon almost laughed, then became serious again. "You know, I was going to talk to you about something, before all this started, but I never really got the chance."

"Nothing serious?" Mal's imagination ran through what could be wrong with his crew.

"No. Nothing like that. I just want to buy a scanner."

"What?"

"There's a scanner on the market, not too expensive, that would allow me to see inside you much easier. It's got good resolution, and although it's not as sensitive as a holoimager, I … well, I might have been able to see the damage the Quicksilver had done before it actually got to the point of you having a heart attack."

"That would have been helpful," Mal said dryly. "And this scanner. Just how much is it?"

"I have almost enough."

"Wasn't asking that."

"Mal, I never intended to ask you to actually buy it. I've been saving from the jobs we've done, and I know that I almost have –"

"You've done it before, haven't you?"

Simon flushed. "It's my infirmary."

"_My_ ship." Mal gazed at him. "Like the bypass machine. Right?"

"I thought it was a good idea."

"Oh, it was. But it ain't up to you to get what we need. You should've come to me."

"I'm happy to –"

"I'm not." Mal tried to ease himself slightly, then stilled as Simon got quickly to his feet, his arms and sure hands lifting him enough to make him more comfortable. "Thanks."

"Mal, I know this is your ship. You tell everyone often enough. But this is my infirmary. Where I work. And I know money can be tight sometimes. Maybe I should have come to you before, but it seemed the best way of doing things."

"I might've been able to get these things cheaper."

Simon's lips twitched. "I didn't exactly get that bypass machine through normal channels."

"Oh? Who've you been going to when I ain't been around?"

"Dillon," Simon admitted.

"Well, that ain't too bad. But I don't want you to do it no more. If we need something, you say. If you wanna contribute, that's fine. But I ain't letting you make Kaylee go without."

"She's always thought it was a good idea."

Mal had to laugh, even though it hurt. "Why am I not surprised?" He took as deep a breath as he could without groaning. "You show me what you want. We'll see where we can get it, 'specially since I'm sure you wanna take a look at that off-spring of yours Kaylee's growing."

Simon was surprised. "I didn't … but yes. I would."

"Then when we get to Lazarus you and me will talk about what you'd like to buy."

"Kaylee said there might be one in the stuff we left in the Arachnids," Simon pointed out.

"And she might be right. We can swing by, take a look, long as the Alliance ain't around. But after Lazarus."

"Of course."

"Simon, can I …?" Freya was outside the door, a cloth-covered tray in her hands.

"Come in." He smiled. "Maybe you can keep your husband in line."

"We've been married a while now, and I haven't managed it yet."

"Hey!" the man in question complained.

Simon ignored him. "Dinner?"

"Mmn. Yours is upstairs."

"Well, I should really stay here …"

"Go on." She nudged him with her elbow. "Kaylee's waiting."

"Oh, well, if it's for my wife …" He grinned suddenly, looking like a little boy, then hurried out of the infirmary.

Freya shook her head, smiling widely, then put the tray down on Mal's lap. "Ready for this?" she asked.

"Definitely. I'm starving."

"Well, you didn't feel like food yesterday …"

"I do today."

"Shiny." She removed the cloth.

"You ain't serious." Mal stared at the mess on his plate. "What the hell is this? When did we get a rabbit and why am I eating his food?"

Freya picked up the spoon and stirred the concoction. "It's good for you."

"What's good for me is a thick steak with mashed potatoes, like my Ma used to make."

She smiled. "When was the last time we had one of them?"

"Mrs Boden does one. With gravy." He pushed the plate away from him. "And that is about as not like it as you can get."

"It's just for a few days. To give you time to recuperate. Simon said you could go back onto solid food the day after tomorrow, and I promise I will get you a steak. Medium rare. With mashed potatoes and gravy."

"You cookin' it?"

She slapped his arm, and he felt a wash of relief flood through him.

"You know we're headed for Lazarus," she said. "A couple of days of Mrs Boden's cooking will put the lead back in your pencil."

His eyebrows raised. "The what?"

"Just eat."

"You know, I changed my mind. I don't think I'm that hungry after all."

"Mal, please."

The catch in her voice surprised him after all the lightness of the last few minutes, and he tried to see into her eyes. "Are you crying?"

She dropped her head. "No!"

"Then why won't you look at me?"

"Mal, I …" Words failed her, and she just shook her head.

Feeling as weak as a day old kitten, he reached out and lifted her chin. "Frey, I'm still here."

"I know."

She wasn't crying, but he figured it was a close run thing, what with all the tension and worry having finally caught up with her.

"Alive, and kicking."

"Mal, you nearly died."

"I'm aware of that." He sighed. "_Xin gan_, I do know."

"Do you have any idea what I'd do if that happened to you?"

He reached out and took her hand. "Pretty much."

She swallowed hard. "And I'm not talking about Three Hills. I'm talking about the promise you made me give."

"Frey, I ain't intending you to ever have to keep it. Just so's I know you won't … you know."

"But you gave your word too. Not to put me in that position."

"I couldn't help it. From what Simon says, it wasn't exactly my fault."

"No. It was that _hwoon dahn_ …" She couldn't even bring herself to say Niska's name. "That stuff he used, I can still see it, Mal. When he …" She had to stop, blinking hard.

"Frey. _Ai ren_. I'm alive. Simon saw to that. And I'm gonna stay that way, for as long as I can. You know that."

"I know." Her head fell back to her chest, and he felt hot liquid splash his hand.

He sighed. "If I didn't know better, I'd say now you were crying."

She sniffed hard. "Good job you know better, then."

Reaching up, he tilted her chin again so he could look into her eyes, brimming with tears. "Frey, I'm not leaving you."

"Damn straight you're not."

"Even if I have to eat this crap."

She sniffed again. "It's not crap. It's healthy."

"If you're about two feet tall with long ears and a fluffy white tail."

"A fluffy tail?"

"It's gorram rabbit food, Frey."

"You've had it before."

He looked at it askance. "I have?"

"Admittedly, only when we were low on supplies, but Simon said it's full of all the nutrients you need."

"Okay. Just don't blame me if I start hopping around the place asking for carrots."

"You don't like carrots."

"I do too."

"Are you trying to make an argument?"

"Would it work?"

She narrowed her eyes, but at least she didn't look like she was going to cry again any time soon. "Look, if you like, I'll go and get mine and we can eat together."

"Long as we can swap."

"I don't know about that."

"Even just a taster." He turned on the puppy dog eyes as much as he could. "Frey, I can smell it from here. Kaylee's done that stew of hers, hasn't she?"

"Well –"

"A spoonful. Just to make this go down better."

She couldn't resist when he looked like that, and she knew he knew it too. "I'll think about it." She put the tray on the counter. "I'll be right back. Be good." She raised an admonishing eyebrow at him and walked out.

For just a moment he could admire her backside, then she was gone again. He sighed. _That_ was going to be out of the question for a while yet. Movement caught his eye in the common area, a step he recognised. "Kaylee, is that you?"

She looked in. "It's me, Cap'n. I'm trying to find Simon. It's time to eat."

"You just missed him."

"Boat ain't even that big and sometimes I can't find him." She turned to leave, but his voice stopped her.

"Kaylee, 'fore you go …"

"What?"

"Got a job for you."

She stepped inside. "You need a drink? Some food?"

"Real food would be good, but since Frey's got me on something that looks like …" He glanced over at the counter. "Well, I don't know what it looks like but it's pretty gross, so I don't think she's gonna let that happen. Although maybe you could sneak me a sandwich later on. When she's gone to bed or something." At Kaylee's grin he went on, "No, I was thinking about EMP shielding. There must be something we can do to stop a pulse like that."

"Shielding?"

"Yeah. It ain't the first time, and I'm sure it's not gonna be the last, life we lead. I want you to figure out a way to stop it. Or at least get us up and running again quicker if we do get hit."

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth. "Hmmn. Second option might be better. Maybe some redundant systems that come on line if a sensor gets tripped … But that'd mean having a separate … Or maybe even …" Her voice trailed off as her eyes unfocused.

"Think you can do it?" he asked, his lip twitching.

She snapped back. "I need to do some planning, Cap'n. See what I can make out."

"Shiny. Only don't let the space monkeys get loose again, _dong mah_?"

"And if the space monkeys are the only way to go?"

"Then … make 'em small ones."

"_Xie xie_, Cap'n!"

"Then go eat. I'm sure I'll survive somehow on … that." He glanced at the plate again and shuddered.

Kaylee giggled and turned on her heel, almost banging into Freya carrying a second plate. "Oh, sorry."

"No problem."

"Simon in the galley?"

"Waiting on you." Freya sniffed her meal appreciatively. "And don't worry. Mal's going to eat every mouthful of his."

Her husband groaned.

* * *

Zoe stepped quietly onto the bridge, watching Hank for any signs that he might bolt. He hadn't actually got that far, but there'd been an occasion or two it had been a close run thing. And she hated it when they fought, not just for the atmosphere it created, but for the fact that she loved him too much to want to let anything like that continue.

He glanced round at her, met her eyes for a moment, then turned back to the stars.

She cleared her throat. "Dinner's on the table."

"Not hungry."

"Well, I'm sure Kaylee'll put aside a plate for you."

"I'm sure she will."

She moved forward, into her usual position at his shoulder.

"How's the cap?" he eventually asked, still gazing through the bridge windows.

"The doc says he should be okay, if he takes things easy for a while."

"That's good."

"Frey's happy to hear it."

"Yeah, well, she loves him."

"And you?"

He glanced up, then almost immediately turned back. "That's just a rumour put about by a mercenary with too much time on his hands. Mal and me are just good friends."

Zoe almost smiled, but couldn't quite manage it. "I meant us."

"I know."

"Hank -"

"How could you?" He span in the chair to face her. "How could you do that? The war was over!"

"I know. And all I can say is … honestly, there isn't anything I can say to make it right."

"Yet you still …" He couldn't continue, his imagination supplying all too graphic pictures of a town filled with corpses, each and every one of them with the face of someone he knew.

"It turned my stomach."

"Good." He knew he sounded bitter, but he couldn't stop himself.

"We'd lost a war, Hank. You have no idea what it was like in the Valley, waiting for help that didn't come, among the bodies of friends and comrades." She spoke quietly, just willing him to understand. "And the tally of corpses just got bigger every day. When help finally got there, and the medships arrived, Mal just kinda … shut down. Took him a while, really until he bought this ship, to be anywhere near normal again."

"So you were doing it for Mal?"

"For all of us. At least, that's what I told myself." She took a deep breath, holding it for a long time before exhaling slowly.

"And that made it right."

"No. Never right. And I'm not trying to justify it. I can't."

"Except I'm supposed to forgive you."

"I can't forgive myself." _I just bury it among all the other things I wish I'd never done_, her thought continued.

"It's … one of the things you dream about, isn't it? Calling out for them to stop."

_Okay, maybe I don't bury it as well as I thought. _"Sometimes."

"You cry."

"Yes."

Hank gazed at her, at her impenetrable face, and wondered why people thought she lacked emotion. It was all there, if only he looked hard enough. He turned back to the stars. "Do you think those men really did those things? Killed those other families?"

"I think Freya was right. They became the thing they hated most."

"Guess that can happen."

"Yeah." She gazed at his back for a long minute, but he didn't seem inclined to talk any more. "I'd … better go check on the captain again." She turned away, but his next words made her stop.

"It's the past. And if we hold onto it, we risk living it all over again. And, like they say, hindsight is perfect." He sighed, a sound dragged from the very depths of his soul. "Can't go back and change it, no matter how much we want to."

"I would if I could."

"I know."

"Did you … watch Boone's data chip?" she asked, knowing it was gone when she went to look, and realising he was the one likely to have taken it.

"No. I destroyed it."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't need to see something that's over. I know you wouldn't do it again. Why relive it?"

"Thank you."

"I love you." He idly corrected their course by a second of a degree. "Sit with me for a while?"

She felt a hard knot in her belly begin to unravel. "For a while. I've got things to do. Seeing as Mal's taking it easy at the moment."

"Yeah, well, he's captain, as he likes to take every opportunity to tell us. And you're acting captain."

"That I am." Zoe sat down carefully in the other seat.

"So can I see you about getting a bigger cut of the next job?"

"I don't think that comes under my remit."

"Pity." He didn't say another word, just stared out at the stars, but his lips were curved very slightly.

Kaylee, standing out of sight beyond the bridge doorway, smiled and shook her head slightly. Hank was being Hank, and trying to defuse a situation with a joke, even if it wasn't a very good one. But at least they were talking, and talking was good. In her heart of hearts, they were going to be all right. It might take a while, and one or two more conversations maybe with someone having to referee, but they were going to be all right.

She sighed happily and turned back towards the galley, yelping a little in surprise at coming face to face with River.

"You have to come and tell Jayne he can't have thirds," the young psychic said.

"You're his wife."

"You're the cook. Otherwise there won't be enough for Zoe and Hank." She looked beyond Kaylee, up to the bridge, and nodded in satisfaction.

Kaylee relaxed a bit more. "Fine. I'm coming anyway. And he's gonna get fat if he keeps eating like that."

"That's what I told him."

"What did he say?"

"I'm not repeating it in front of the baby." River nodded towards Kaylee's stomach then paused, her head slightly on one side.

"What is it?" Kaylee asked, then gasped slightly as her baby son did a somersault and kicked her.

"My nephew is restless," River said, linking her arm through her sister-in-law's. "And hungry."

"You can tell?"

"Of course." She tugged gently. "Jayne …"

Kaylee laughed. Yep, things were definitely getting back to normal. "Come on then," she said, and the two young women headed for the kitchen.


End file.
